SNACKS

Please, keep your hands off my snacks!

The other day while doing some work and having a glass of wine at a very chic and trendy ocean resort hotel bar, a good looking young man that I had never seen or met before reached over my laptop computer and skimpy black string bikini-clad boobs, completely invading my personal space and without asking or warning, put his random man-hands into my snacks; my bar snacks, that is.

I was minding my own business, typing away on my laptop with earphones on listening to music, extremely content. I clearly was not there to get laid, have a make out session or to have arbitrary men put their stubby, dirty, man-hands into my snacks.

Who knows where his hands may have been before this very bad-mannered bar snack moment? It didn’t matter to me how good looking he was; the snack situation was not sexy. These were not public bar snacks, you know – the shared bowl of excessively touched , bodily fluid-enriched community mix that sits on the local bar each night. These were my snacks.

On a side note have you seen the news reports on communal AKA community bar snacks? Not pretty or particularly appetizing. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news and I would like to think better of people, but the scientific snack reports have found communal snack bowls to contain traces of pee, poo and other bodily fluids. Scrumptious and ever so tempting! Ahh, the perfect chaser for that cocktail you have been sipping on while munching blissfully away on those thirst inducing, salty, crunchy treats.

Anyway, after this guy man-handled my snacks, he happily chomped away at my olives and proceeded to ask my opinion on the olives. Is he kidding? As I turned off my iPod in a state of disbelief, I asked him nicely why he had just put his hands in my snacks. I didn’t mention the fact that he had also just ate my olives.

His body language became stiff and his facial expression changed. He then angrily told me that I was “uptight.” This was a fascinating moment and in my opinion, he was the one who was “uptight.”

I had never asked him to talk to me, put his hands into my snacks or to eat my olives. It was remarkable to me that not only had he invaded me and my snack space, but he astonishingly had no idea how exceptionally impolite he was. Even more remarkable was that he attacked me verbally by calling me “uptight” more than once! “What an annoying space invader snacker,” was all I could think as I took a drink of my wine.

And why is this story even important? Well, do you want a random person putting their hands in your snacks and eating your olives?

While I was not on a date with him this behavior was disrespectful. He would have been better to drag me back to his cave by my hair. I would love to hear your thoughts on snacks and strangers.

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