Do Men Kiss and Tell

In last week’s “Pheromones Primal or Not?” blog post, I casually mentioned that I had made out with two guys from one of my local hangouts. I also mentioned that on that random night, as I walked into the bar there they both sat, side-by-side.

It’s important to note that I made out with each of them on completely different occasions and seasons.

Anyway, as they casually chatted over cocktails, it made me wonder if they were comparing notes about my ass, runner’s legs, or if I’m a lousy or talented kisser?

Do single men really talk about their various sexual encounters and if so, just how much of the salacious sexual dirt gets spilled on the down and dirty of what happens between the sheets or from an uninhibited and steamy one night stand in the back seat of his car?

Do men kiss and tell?

I had a gut feeling that my kiss-and-tell investigation could potentially expose a secret and confidential man’s society that I wasn’t privy to. That is, unless I sleep with Man #1! Then I will gain a full access pass. See below for reference.

Early the next morning I sent an e-mail to 22 of my handsome and sexually-active guy friends to honestly dish on the kiss-and-tell topic. I was surprised by the lack of response. As I listened to the deafening sound of crickets coming from my computer, I did wonder, were my suspicions confirmed, was I actually roaming into a no man’s land where I’m not technically, emotionally, and spiritually allowed to roam? Or were my friends just busy?

Thankfully, I wasn’t left completely in the dark.

There are only six men’s opinions here, and yes, I realize how vast the world is, but I do think that each man’s answers speak volumes. Also interesting is that I have placed them in the order received.

MAN #1
Him- I can only give this info in person and between the sheets….
Me- Is that a bribe?Him- Yes…When, Maybe now? I want to lick you slowly until you’re bucking against me….

(This is what he wrote. I didn’t want to edit it, sorry if it seems a bit raunchy and honestly right now I’m way too busy to be “bucking” and while he is very cute, I have not “bucked” with him for years).

MAN #2
Him-Depends on how good she is!
Me-If she sucks, mum’s the word?
Him-Also depends on the guy… A true “playa” won’t need to say anything, because everyone knows if he goes out with a girl… They’re having sex.

MAN #3
Him- As you know I do chat with girlfriends (you mostly) about sex but not really at all with my guy friends (except the usual…”we have lots of sex, etc.”)

Man #4
Him- I don’t know about kiss-and-tell, I would like to know the study of women who hold out on their men and why….

MAN #5
Jennifer,
I’m 53 so I believe it is a function of age, character and maturity. A younger man may reveal more about his explicit activities for bragging rights and as you get older in your 30’s and 40’s, regardless if it’s a man or a woman, what you disclose depends on the “type” of friendship. When you are older you tend to have more female friends to “maybe” discuss sex with, but you’re careful with your words, and it depends on if it’s a female or male so you don’t embarrass or offend the person, that is unless you’re asked detailed questions, such as, “did you go down on her?”
In my late thirties, I dated a woman who gave me the best blow jobs ever – I mean ever. I shared this with two close guy friends and even now when I mention her name my two friends will always remember her..
When I’m in a long term relationship, it almost seemed to be “off limits” with my friends, occasionally I would say something like, “she loved for me go down on her.”
Moving into your 50’s, it’s rare for me to “kiss and tell.” I will simply say “I got laid last night” – but kissing and telling with females, it depends on your relationship. I have female friends, but I don’t discuss intimate details unless asked, to be respectful.
On a rare occasion usually after drinking, a guy might say to another – “Yeah, I’d like to do her, go down on her or fuck her in the ass.” But that depends on the type of guy friend. In the end for me it really just comes down to, age, character and recognizing the beauty of a woman and the pursuit.

MAN #6
Jennifer,
In regards to your question- here’s how it usually works (from my experience):
If it’s a random hook-up or neither person is in a relationship, guys talk about it- the amount of detail depends on if anything weird happened, if the sex was really good/fun or if it was really bad. But beans are spilled as to the quality of what happened, also if there is any interest in the girl.

If the girl is cheating on her boyfriend- guys will tell their friends too- because they didn’t do anything wrong so what’s the big deal if the other guy finds out unless of course he is connected to their group of friends in which case, you probably wouldn’t say much except to your best friend, but then again, you might be an asshole and not give a shit and tell people anyway.

If you are cheating on your girlfriend- same thing- you might tell one of your buddies to get it off your chest but it might not come out until a few weeks later to prevent an uproar of excitement and interest about what happened.

In any case, guys talk, maybe not to the extent and intimate details that women do, but we definitely talk about what happened-the good, bad, crazy, weird, love, fling, mistake, etc. If something weird, kinky or just great sex went down then men will tend to tell more people if the subject of that particular girl comes up. Close friends get the real dirt, other friends just get the casual “oh I hooked up with her”. Hope this helps. Just one man’s point of view.

While these are just six men’s thoughts and words on the kiss-and-tell topic. I know there are countless more, and if you have anything to add or comment on, it would be great to hear and you don’t have to “buck.”

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