With last week’s post I was sidetracked by the Ol’ Tally Whacker but it was for the best. While it made my mom blush and giggle all at the same time, it also made for a great reason to write about Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg’s humorous SNL spoof Dick in a Box. Justin Timberlake SNL Spoof Dick in a Box
Going back to my original plan, I will now do the follow-up to: Is it a Date or a Bride? And I will talk about Arm Candy.
Part of my inspiration to write about this topic came from watching the interaction between a couple while I was in Mexico lounging peacefully at the same pool.
What I noticed at first about them was the age difference and secondly that they didn’t speak to one another. When they did speak, the woman would yell at him with a sour look on her face and closed-arm body language.
I had to wonder as I sat under the warm and welcoming Mexican sun, was this beautiful and young-enough-to-be-his-college-aged-daughter woman really worth being berated and treated like this?
Perhaps she keeps him happy in bed, or is incredibly impressive to his friends, family and colleagues?
Conceivably for him, at the end of the day it all balances out because she looks so great on his arm; AKA Arm Candy.
On that note I thought it would be interesting to write about the idea of Arm Candy. What does it mean exactly and how does it show its face in today’s society?
And as talked about here:
New York Times Article on Arm Candy
While it may seem that socio-economics has very little to do with dating and mating, it historically does, right along with beauty, evolution and Darwin. But beauty can and may show up differently for each person and in any number of characteristics, whether it be looks, wealth, intelligence, a certain body part, a good sense of humor or perhaps crooked teeth.
Back to Darwin, a recent Duke University study about why most men have a wandering eye suggests that men are driven by their hardwiring and biology as seen in the groups of male rhesus monkeys, which favored sexuality and power in the female monkeys.
Power, Sex, Monkeys and Humanity
The Donald Trump’s and Larry King’s of the world, or as I talked about in the Dating for Perks post, the notorious Anna Nichole Smith.
I do think it’s worth mentioning that economics (power and wealth) do and may affect the dating and mating process and life in general, as with the case of Arm Candy.
When a wealthy man is with a very attractive, younger woman, she is considered Arm Candy who is with him just for his money (and chosen just for her looks).
This year I dated a guy with a well-paying job as a programmer. From date one programmer guy always let me pay for half of the check. After a handful of dates, as the bill would uncomfortably lie on the table between us and the sexual tension grew as we finished up our drinks, I came to realize that this was his MO.
I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe he has loans, alimony (he is divorced) or family loans to pay off? I finally asked him what was up with always splitting the check. When he gave no direct answer, I finally asked him, “Are you cheap?”
He never answered any of my questions but if I were still dating him I would send him this link: Who Pays for a Date?
I think this is a good piece of information.
That mentioned, recently I went to a speed dating event with a friend. After the event, we went and had dinner with two of the speed dating men and when the bill arrived one of the men eagerly offered to pay, while the other just sat there quietly in his chair.
I understand why Arm Candy happens and being an LA native I see it daily, grew up seeing it, and I even have friends who have dated older, very rich men and have become Arm Candy…
Next week’s blog post will offer a man’s opinion on the topic of Arm Candy from my go- to guy, Eric C. What do you think on the topic?
Till then, Happy Holidays!
I have an old friend who, unfortunately, I don’t get to talk with regularly. But when we do, it’s always a no-holds-bar conversation that ranges from how our day is to the size of a man’s Tally Whacker.
Based on our friendship, I had no issues talking with her honestly about a man that I recently made-out with (sorry mom and dad, just skip over the next few sentences) and, after hours of memorable and passionate kissing, I saw his noteworthy “porn star penis.” Yes, it was that picture perfect. (Not to be offensive, but he was just that blessed.)
As we continued our detailed conversation about “porn star penis” guy, she spilled a few of her own current sex life details and they pertained to a man that she has been seeing but has only gone a few bases with. This combined with a bit of a “dry spell” has flipped her “Penis Meter/Radar” to the ON position.
Paraphrasing what she said next:
“I’m ready for more action and not just tongue, which is my favorite, but I’m ready for some heart-pounding, down and dirty let’s play hide the sausage, sex.”
The banter progressed and with her permission I recorded what we talked about next as a reference point for this week’s post. Here is a small bite of what we openly discussed.
Me: So do you think that guys check out each other’s packages in the bathroom?
Friend: Yes, I think they do!
And here is what I found out online about Men’s Room Etiquette:
and on a more serious note, well sort of …
I also found out this:
Clearly it’s not in good taste to check each other out…
It was only natural that the next topic would be, does size matter?
We both agreed it did to a certain extent but every situation is different. Here is what ABC late night guy Jimmy Kimmel discovered via hard driving reporting and enormous (literally) wit on the streets of Venice Beach, California.
Very funny, Jimmy Kimmel, Does Size Matter?
My friend then mentioned one guy that she had dated who was six foot something in height, “he was a big guy, worked out in great shape the whole deal, except he had the smallest one I have ever seen. I couldn’t even feel it in me.”
Me: Hey, I think we’ve dated the same guy!
So can you really tell a man’s size by his, height, nose, ears, hands or foot size? In my personal experiences it has been diverse, assorted and frankly all over the map.
Here is what June Machover Reinisch, Ph.D. forthrightly and scientifically has to say on the subject of size:
Me: And what about sex toys?
Friend: One of my first boyfriends pulled out a huge rubber dildo and I had another that could only orgasm if he was using a vibrator on himself as the girl did other things.
While both of us are not into using toys (actually I have never used them, just not my vibe) I did an online search and much to my amazement, discovered that Amazom.com retails sex toys.
I clicked on the link to see what Amazon.com was selling and it was an assorted selection of pleasure-triggering colors, shapes, sizes and some even had remote controls for varied speeds.
With all those shapes, sizes and gratifying features, I became interested in the economics of the sex toy business and while some smaller businesses are making up to $1 million per year, the “Passion Party” business is raking in a whopping $35 million yearly with a sales growth rate of 50 percent annually.
Sex Toy Business
I am by-no-means a prude but when it comes to “toys,” I’m still an old fashioned girl at heart and I won’t be purchasing a Doc Johnson Lucid Dream 32 Squirmy Vibrator in red anytime soon. I still prefer and desire the real McCoy.
Gentleman, just in case you are having a hard time picking out the perfect holiday gift for a special woman that you have been dating, I will now point you in the direction of a celebrated Emmy Award-winning seasonal gift idea from Justin Timberlake and comedian Andy Samberg.
BBC News Emmy Award, Dick in a Box
And the fabulous part is that you can be creatively crafty and make it at home, as seen here in this exceptionally humorous uncensored Saturday Night Live spoof titled: Dick in a Box.
NBC, SNL Must Watch Dick in a Box
Please let me know if you need any holiday wrapping or bow tips!
Last Sunday while I was at the LA airport, I had a lively conversation with a very sociable and humorous married couple. A half-hour into our airport terminal chit-chat, the topic of his wealthy brother’s Thai wife came up, whom they call “Thai Barbie,” because she is a stunningly beautiful Thai woman who was selected straight from a mail-order bride catalogue. Although her new American wardrobe wasn’t included when she arrived they did tell me that his brother has no qualms about picking and choosing her wardrobe and “dressing her up.”
They both agreed that she was exceptionally easy on the eyes, however there was an issue; “Thai Barbie, doesn’t speak any English.”
It wasn’t until the next day at the hotel when I noticed the handful of gorgeous, young women lounging pool side in the company of much older, balding men with protruding, jelly-roll bellies that I gave our airport conversation any more thought.
Based on those two back-to-back situations, I thought it would be poignant to write about two niche’ areas: the mail-order bride business; and romance tours. Both of these business models clearly state that the intentions are for men to meet beautiful women.
Within a few minutes on the Internet I realized just how abundant the mail-order bride business is (marriage agencies and mail-order bride publications are legal in most countries), as well as companies that offer romance tours, where men travel overseas to places like Russia, Colombia, Peru or Odessa, located in the Ukraine, as seen here in part 1 and 2 of these youtube.com videos.
Communication barriers aside, I can say that I myself have had flings with foreign men while traveling abroad on holiday. Yes, the sex was great but at breakfast the next morning there was not a lot of shared conversation going on, and frankly it wasn’t in my plans to bring any of these foreign flings back to Los Angeles as a souvenir, regardless of the spontaneous fun, steamy sex and exotic settings. Personally, I just didn’t see it in my own cards or for a sound future.
The mail-order bride business is nothing new. It has been reported that it goes back to the early settlers of the U.S. but since the fall of the Iron Curtain and the introduction of the Internet in the 1990’s, it has changed dramatically.
The History of Mail-order Brides
Mail-order brides are a global phenomenon from the red, white and blue shores of America all the way to Turkmenistan, where prior to June 2005, a foreigner was required to pay a $50,000 fee to marry a Turkmen citizen regardless of how they met. This fee was set up to protect women from abusive relationships. I‘m not sure what happened politically but in 2005, this law was scrapped.
Wikipedia Mail-order Brides
As one final bit of research into this subject, I did an Internet search for mail-order men and romance tours geared for women… worthy of noting, nothing turned up.
I believe we are hard-wired to seek companionship, love and safety. So, who am I to judge how people find their mate or date? As the old saying goes, “different strokes for different folks.” No pun intended here.
What’s your view on romance tours and the mail-order bride business?
As a general rule of thumb I feel it’s pretty safe to say that human beings enjoy a wide array of “stuff.” From the newest electronic gizmos to frozen pies, we are creatures of comfort who are also partial to picturesque living environments and holidays. But to what extreme will people go to acquire belongings or to create an exquisite lifestyle where relaxing for a week at a ritzy five-star resort becomes a life norm?
I had a situation recently where a man with a fabulous job asked me out. Other than the fact that he was no George Clooney look-alike and was wearing expensive leather dress shoes in humid, 80 degree weather with no socks, he seemed like a decent man. And, based on his high-level title with a well-known corporation, I’d be willing to take a suckers’ bet that the night would be filled with VIP perks.
Sucker-bet aside, in reality I was more enticed to go out with him for the possible “perks” rather than romance and his potentially smelly and sweaty feet.
Could I really go on a date with this non-sock wearing guy just for perks?
About three years ago I dated a guy because of his hand-restored classic car (very sexy). In other words, I dated him for his car. His ride became my “perk,” but in the end I realized no matter how hot his car was, it didn’t make him hot, so I stopped seeing him. Despite the automotive benefits, the whole situation felt disingenuous.
Having learned that lesson from the classic-car guy, I flashed on no-socks guy and recognized it didn’t matter how good the VIP advantages could be, I wasn’t going to go there or out with him.
So just how prevalent is Dating for Perks? (Which I think in some circumstances is equivalent to being a Gold Digger.)
Using the Internet, I typed in the words “millionaire dating” to see what I could find and here are the top seven sites:
My personal favorite is marry-an-ugly-millionaire, because that is where you will find me most nights looking for my next Dating for Perks guy. And with marry-an-ugly millionaire, super model looks are not required.
At 26, did the now-infamous Anna Nichole Smith, stripper-turned-Playboy Centerfold and Guess model, marry Howard Marshall II, an 89-year-old oil tycoon worth an estimated $1.6 billion for love or money?
While we will never know her exact motives, I think for most she is considered to be a Gold Digger who married him for his fortune. Washington Post Article
When Marshall passed away just one year after they wed, Smith stood to inherit $474 million, which was held up in the legal system before her own tragic death this year at 39.
As I researched this post between all my recent online millionaire dates (not), I read an article in USA Today about gift-giving and human nature. The reporter talks about how gift-giving isn’t just a human act but how it’s also found in the mating rituals of some insects such as the male hanging fly.
“If women are complaining about how men are in relationships, they should think about the hanging fly,” Kruger says. “The male hanging fly gives the female a gift — a large dead insect — only to take it back after mating to be used in his next encounter.”
Fortunately unlike the male hanging fly’s dating and mating gift ritual, no man has ever given me recycled road kill to get me into bed.
I had to wonder do men and women have different likes and dislike when it comes to Dating for Perks?
Last night I asked a handful of men whom I’d never met what kind of “perks” it would take for them to date a woman that they were just semi-interested in and this is what they said:
o Good in bed
o Happy (Upbeat and happy got extra points)
I think this clip from a NBC’s Today’s Show about a “special” speed dating event hosted by Pocketchange Speed Dating speaks volumes about Rich Men and Beautiful Women.
From my brief study, it seems that perhaps women’s Dating Perks are more wealth-centered and for men, they’re based around beauty, sex, and personality.
Well, maybe not for this guy…
Have any of you ever Dated for Perks and if so what where they?
*Note I usually post on Wednesdays I will be in Mexico till Thursday and my internet maybe spotty so I am posting this today.