BettyConfidential: Tell me why you decided to start badonlinedates.com
Jennifer Kelton: I wrote a book about dating called Don’t Use My Sweater Like a Towel and when I was out promoting it, I realized there are a lot of people having negative dating experiences.
BC: Can you tell us a little about badonlinedates.com?
JK: It’s kind of like MySpace meets Match.com. It combines the best of social networking with online dating. There’s a commonality among the members because everyone on there is tired of having bad dates. They’re tired of the traditional sites where people lie and misrepresent themselves. If people are meeting in a social-networking site, it’s more like they’re meeting at a coffee shop or at a bar, as opposed to “Hi, I live in a mansion, drive a Ferrari and have a six-pack.”
BC: How is your site different than Match or Nerve?
JK: I’ve been told that all the dating sites have done this: They create fake profiles. I refuse to do that. It goes against every grain of my being. We’re talking about people who are joining a scene because they’re sick of the bulls*&t.
BC: What makes your site unique?
JK: There’s this new feature that I’m doing with Omnidate that should go live this week. You pick an avatar – no sexual bias, you can be or go out with whichever gender you want. Unlike at eHarmony, your sexual orientation doesn’t matter here. This will be the first dating site that will have this functionality to it. This is the future and where online dating is going. People need to connect … to be able to talk in real time through these avatars – it is kind of Second Life, but it’s not. You can invite someone into a room and you can flirt, and blow kisses – it’s quite fun to play with.
BC: You’re also launching Bad Date TV – what’s that about?
JK: These are public service announcements. The reason bad dates happen is that people are oblivious to how they behave. I’ve created these bad-date characters (one is called Bad Date Betty!), and they’re bad daters. The actors improv a bad date, and at the end there’s a moral to them.
BC: Like an after-school special, but for dating?
6 Things NOT To Do The First Time You Have Sex With Someone New
By Judy McGuire
So you’ve met Mr. Right. (Or Mr. Right Now.) You’re a good girl, so you’ve waited the requisite amount of time and you just know that tonight is the night you’ve been dreaming of all year/month/week/minute.
You look good, you smell good and you’re wearing the only matching lingerie set you own. All signs point to go.
You’d think with this many green lights that there’s no way a lady could mess this up. Maybe you’d think that, but you’d be wrong. Here are just a few of the ways this could go south in a hurry:
1. Don’t depend on him for birth control. Yes, he should carry condoms, but ultimately it’s up to you — it’s your body and you need to keep yourself safe. I’m not saying that’s the way it should be, but the sad fact is, even the nicest seeming guy isn’t always as invested in keeping us disease and pregnancy-free. Even if you’re the kind of traditional lady who insists your date pay for everything (after all, you’re giving him the gift of your company), do not let stubbornness get in the way of your safe good time. And nothing ruins a good time like a below-the-belt itch or unplanned pregnancy.
Pictures from yesterday’s Bad Date TV shoot 10-19-08
More pictures from the Bad Date TV shoot can be seen on the nerdgirlsagogo.com blog
Pictures from yesterday’s Bad Date TV shoot 10-18-08
Alright I get that men like to see legs… so it would only make sense that they would like to see legs in a mini skirt. However the experience I had yesterday is just wrong! I’m not one to give straight out “DON’T” dating tips but what this guy did just made me feel to need to share.
Look — the deal here is that I’m not trying to bash the guy in my podcast, perhaps other women like this type of behavior… I for one am not a fan.. Click here to listen: Mini Skirts-10-17-08
Although it probably makes us look better statistically if everyone who meets at Bad Online Dates gets married in a giant production of tulle and taffeta, chiffon and champagne, we understand that hooking up happens and often people will dive into a sexual relationship before having a deep emotional one. There’s been a lot of discussion in the mainstream media about women’s sex lives, and whether the “casual sex” (although it’s almost always called “hooking up” now) that many of today’s women pursue is good for them. We called upon the real experts… you! Natch, names have been withheld to protect their privacy, because not everyone with access to Google is as open about sex as we are here at BOLD.
So, question of the day: Has hooking up been destigmatized?
– “Unfortunately it isn’t… a lot of people still get called degrading names when they’re just hooking up… Again, I’m including all types of folks from heterosexual, gay, trans, whatever… The ugly fact of the matter is that still, people are regarded as slutty if they’re free with their sexuality… It is changing, and in some circles it’s changing a lot faster… Folks, especially women, need to own their own sexuality… Once you’re a confident sexual being, you actually don’t care too much about what other people think.” Single woman, 27
– “I am absolutely in favor of hooking up, but the sad truth is, I’ve never done it. Sometimes I feel like I’m living a parallel life in another decade: all my life, I have only ever been Asked Out On Dates. I always feel so left out when I hear about ‘the hook-up culture’ that I’m apparently excluded from. Is there something about me that screams ‘Nice Girl, Treat Her With Respect’? If so, it’s totally off—I desperately want to be a huge slut with a mile-long list of conquests!” -Woman in a relationship, 22
– “As long as everyone is using protection, hooking up is okay. It’s not my thing, but I don’t judge people who do it. Hooking up is not destigmatized. It’s [considered] good for a guy to hook up with as many women as he wants, but not the same way for women.” Single woman, 23
– “My personal opinion is that casual sex is one of the most effective ways to disrespect the bodies (and minds) we have for this lifetime. I don’t agree with it unless a healthy and loving relationship is distinguished… For the record, casual sex sounds A LOT worse than hooking up. I feel like people use the term more loosely, and therefore destigmatize it. I’ve never heard a person say, ‘Guess who I had casual sex with last night?!?’ It’s always about hooking up. It sounds less irresponsible.” Single woman, 20
– “I think hooking up is somewhat destigmatized but there is a double standard for men and women and the circumstances matter in terms of how the public processes it, and who is doing it. Jaime Lynn Spears was portrayed as a delinquent for getting knocked up and Bristol Palin is being viewed as a saint. I think sexual orientation factors into how people judge promiscuity or casual sex too. I have heard bi friends being talked about for being super horny or untrustworthy because of their sexual orientation even if they have the same number of partners as their straight peers.” Woman in a relationship, 28
– “I think it’s always better to have sex with guys who you’re dating or who you’re in a relationship with. That said, I will be the first to recognize that sometimes you just have to have sex, and if you find yourself in bed with a guy friend or some guy you’ve only started to hang out with, whatever… However, hooking up is something I try to avoid now, just because I know that it’s not the best thing for me, the way I operate sexually.” Woman in a relationship, 32
Wow, that was a fast year… BadOnlineDates.com is one year old today.
It’s been a journey for sure! Lots of growth, lots of learning and lots more on the way.
Thanks to all I could not have done it without you.