By Laura Schaefer
I think this is very good advice! I worked with a very famous chef when I was in my early 20’s he told me, “you eat with your eyes first!” This has been one of the most valuable things anyone has ever told me, much of this article I believe falls into alignment with what Chef Roy said.
Tips from the experts (scientists included!) on what really works when you meet someone new.
You’ve heard it before: Those first few seconds of interaction with someone new are crucial. Scientists have been very clear about how snappy we are when it comes to judgments—and that these appraisals are shown to be accurate. We trust these impressions, and with good reason.
So exactly how can you intrigue and impress when you meet someone new? Let the experts — some of them scientists — tell you:
If you wish to show particular interest in another person, hold eye contact a beat or two longer than you would with anyone else. Nicolas Boothman, the author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, explains. “Sexy people slow down. They move at a different pace, giving others the opportunity to respond to them. When you ‘linger longer’ with your eyes, you show interest.” To create an opportunity to meet an attractive stranger, engage in the “promise withdraw.” Make eye contact, look away, and then look back. You’ll make the object of your attention more eager to meet you.
Our body language plays a big role in how others see us, especially in the first few seconds before much has been said. The key to an inviting posture is simple: Expose your heart. This means your arms are uncrossed and your shoulders are relaxed or back.
Adjust your attitude
While it’s true that others cannot read your mind, they can read your attitude. If your internal monologue is negative, this bad energy will manifest itself in ways you can’t really control… even if you try. Alexander Todorov, Ph.D., an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Princeton University points out, “fake smiles are never a good idea. People are very good at discriminating genuine from fake smiles.” So before you head into a new social situation, get into a good mood—to bring a genuine smile to your face. It may be as simple as playing upbeat music or telling yourself you’re going to have a fun time.