By Jennifer Kelton
It was 2:44 A.M. when, for the third night in a row, I woke up with beyond extreme pain (the kind I would not wish on my worst enemy) from a root canal that I had just had days before. As I shuffled, with my bed head hair, blurry eyes and freshly washed fluffy white slippers, to the dark bathroom for some pain reliever in a child proof safety capped bottle, it was all too obvious how much it sucks, and at times is particularly scary, to have this level of intense pain alone. That is, except for the daily phone check-ins with my ever supportive and unconditionally loving mom and an emergency call to the Endodontist that had performed the not so pleasant dental procedure on Thursday.
Saturday was spent on the couch with an ice pack, an overdose of Advil, an Ativan hangover and watching back-to-back Season 1 episodes of Jersey Shore on MTV. I have never actually watched the show and I was curious as to what all the hype was about…
To put it in Mike’s aka “The Situation’s” words it’s about “GTL” which translates to “gym, tanning and laundry.”
I thought about this with my frozen, ice packed swollen face. It really comes down to the guys aka “Guidos” looking ripped, tanned and getting coiffed out in tacky Ed Hardy as a way to get girls. By the way, for the most part, the show is basically just about drinking and hooking-up.
According to the Urban Dictionary this is the exact definition of GTL:
The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for “Gym, tan, laundry.” Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from MTV’s groundbreaking Jersey Shore.
You gotta GTL everyday to make sure you’re looking your best bro. If your shirt looks bad it makes the whole product look bad.
This morning after taking Advil and antibiotics and still feeling pretty beat-up from a weekend of pain I checked the spam folder on my personal e-mail account and it was filled with way too many messages from Match.com; a site which I have not been a member of for well over two years now.
I will say, as I looked at the numerous e-mails, it made me realize how nice it would be to have a boyfriend at times like this in order to feel that kind of love. Despite what Mike “The Situation” may think — it’s not just about GTL (gym, tan and laundry) in life, it’s about love. Love is not just a drug — love also heals.
Hum, I just may start dating again…