By Juliette McGough
Recently stars have been acting more ridiculous than usual. Disney channel stars are having mental breakdowns, Mel Gibson is verbally displaying his connection to Hitler and Justin Beiber has written a book. Fortunately, one thing about these crazy incidents is that they can all be fixed. Disney can stop working 6 years olds like slaves, Mel Gibson can be thrown in the loony bin and Justin Beiber’s book can be burned. However, once in a while a star will do irreversible things that are absolutely ridiculous. Kanye West for example, has done many irreversible mistakes. First, he bashed precious Taylor Swift in front of thousands. Second, he had a permanent diamond grill put in his mouth. Permanent.
I understand that people have money and they like to show it off. However, replacing teeth with diamonds is taking it to an extreme, and making it permanent is just crazy. On a date, the last thing I want to do is lean across a table and suck face with a dude who has enough gold on his teeth to make a bracelet (you can tell how classy I keep my dates). A real way to impress your date would be to pawn that grill and put the money towards a good cause. With all the money people put towards these flashy teeth additions, they could be helping to feed starving children all over the world.
Not only does a grill (and we’re not talking a BBQ) make a person look showy and ostentatious but it also makes them look like they should be rapping a song about how much their mouth is worth, a smelly mouth at that. And unless you are a groupie, a grill should not turn you on. Is toothpaste a suitable diamond and gold cleaner? What if food gets stuck in the grooves? Bad breath has never been attractive on a date, and it won’t start now.
A person will grow old and the grill will always be there. I don’t know about you, but I have always dreamed of hooking up with an old man who had gold teeth. You know, a grandpa with a real quality grill that keeps him looking young. When you get old, do you want to be the old guy or girl who can sit their grandchild on their lap and answer their awkward questions about why they have gold teeth… by choice? The answer would sound somewhat like, “Because back in my day dear, for about two months gold teeth were really popular so I went and had a permanent set drilled right on to my teeth.” Real inspirational.