By Jack Elliot
PDA. It doesn’t look so bad when you read it- just three simple letters minding their own business, respectfully keeping their appendages to themselves, and not really doing anything to disturb you. But when these letters are taken off the page and are brought into reality, they can get ugly real fast, as I’m sure you can attest.
Unfortunately, witnessing and putting up with large amounts of PDA on an almost day-to-day basis is one of the more negative aspects of a bartending job. Which leads me to the question: why do people, or should I say, “sloppy drunks,” choose to engage in these public displays of affection?
Is it to 1) show off how hot and steamy their relationship is?
Is it to 2) make you writhe with jealousy?
Is it because 3) their unbridled love is so passionate that it cannot wait till later on?
Or is it because 4) they are wasted and aren’t really thinking about the world outside of them?
Where does this desire to distastefully exhibit your love to the world around you stem from?
In response to question 1, if a couple is engaging in PDA to show how hot and steamy their relationship is, they have many, many issues. First off, if there relationship is so hot and steamy, there really shouldn’t have been any reason for them to leave their room to start with. And in addition, if the couple would rather make out and grope each other instead of having conversation and enjoying each other’s company, it probably follows that they don’t have a lot of things to say to each other and are more than likely relying on lust to keep their relationship going.
In response to question 2, if a couple is trying to make you jealous by there PDA and it’s working, this means that you’re a creep and have nothing better to do but watch other people make out at a bar.
In response to question 3, perhaps a couple does have an astounding level of sexual chemistry and attraction, which is all well and good. But if they are engaging in massive amounts of PDA, they probably lack a certain maturity and respect for each other, which are two essential aspects to any healthy relationship.
In response to question 4, from my observations, being wasted seems to contribute the most to excessive PDA. It is as if people who are normally able to keep their hands to themselves lose all control after a few drinks. And if being wasted is a couple’s reason for engaging in PDA, well then they sure as hell better leave a good tip.
But when it comes down to it, any reason behind PDA does not matter- because there is absolutely no way to justify it. It is incredibly distasteful, inappropriate, and rude. You’re into each other. You both get it. We get it. Everyone in the bar gets it. Which leaves only one thing left for you to get…