Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Arguing in Public

• by Jennifer on March 31st, 2011

By Rachel Spensatelli

Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows it’s not always rainbows, unicorns and butterflies. Occasional quarrels and disagreements just come with the territory. Arguing is natural, and as long as it’s done constructively, it can be healthy. Aside from knowing how and when to argue, where to argue is important too. Click here to read more…

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A Man’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… I’m Going Through a Divorce

• by Jennifer on March 30th, 2011

By J.R. Reed aka Sexandthesingledad

Getting divorced sucks. Especially when you have kids. My parents were married 46 years when my dad died and being married and sticking it out is what I knew. I married someone who was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar. She stopped taking her medicine when our daughter was five and there was no way I could have her living with our daughter and myself.

There were issues on both sides. It’s never entirely one person’s fault, but the up and down mood swings was too much to handle. What made it really tough on me was that I still had feelings for her. It wasn’t like there were big issues we were fighting about. It was all about her illness and the inability to function properly when she wasn’t taking her medicine.

I loved her, but I couldn’t be with her and that made it hard. Divorce is tough when the two people have zero love for each other, but it may be tougher when one of the couple doesn’t really want it to be over. There was no doubt in my mind that it needed to be over, but I didn’t really want this to be how it ended.

I ended up with full custody of my daughter and did what any good dad would do. I put on a happy face and made the best of the situation publicly, but inside I was a mess. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, yet I constantly second-guessed myself. When my ex took her medicine, everything was great, but I couldn’t force her to take her pill everyday.

Everyone deals with things in a different way. My way was to pull away from my friends and my family. I needed to keep my mind off it, so I started working more hours. By “more hours” I mean “too many hours”. I poured myself into work and internalized everything. When you’re working 70 hours a week and don’t let anything out, you become a time bomb. I ended up in the ER one night with my BP 245/160.

I was alienating myself from the very people I should be turning to and spending more time with. My friends were calling and asking to do things, but I blew them off every time. I was feeling like my life was in complete chaos. There was not a doubt in my mind about doing the right thing for my daughter, but I felt as if I was losing control.

I avoided dealing with my problem by working too much, but the problem didn’t go away. It only grew. My stress and constantly being burned out was affecting my health and my attitude, plus my friends were starting to get irritated and on my case. This sucked.

I don’t care how much you want the divorce or if divorce is the last thing you ever thought about, it’s going to be rough on you. You have to find someone to talk to—a friend, a counselor, the homeless guy at the park. Anyone will do. If you internalize everything you’ll end up in a bed at the ER with a doctor pouring nitro glycerin down your throat as the nurse asks about your living will. That way isn’t pleasant. Take my word for it.

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Tuesday’s Topic: Disgusting Dating Habits

• by Jennifer on March 29th, 2011

By Kelly Seal

Maybe you’re a single man who’s hot, successful, or some form of a great catch. However, you can’t seem to make it past the first date or two, and can’t understand why. Instead of assuming the problem is with your dates, maybe you should consider the possibility that it’s with you. Click here to read more…

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Sasha Speaks: Answering Your Most Private Dating Questions — Her Handbag?

• by Jennifer on March 28th, 2011

Dear Sasha,
The woman I’m dating always puts her purse on the restaurant and bar top when we are out, even when I ask her not to because it grosses me out and I would hope that she would stop just as a matter of respect to me. Do you think it’s a sign of bigger things and issues in the future?

Sincerely,

Handbag Helper Click here to read more…

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Date Song Pick of the Week: Paul McCartney & Wings – Maybe I’m Amazed

• by Jennifer on March 28th, 2011

Paul McCartney & Wings – Maybe I’m Amazed

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Sunday Bad Date Funnies: Book Excerpt – Never Kiss a Frog

• by Jennifer on March 27th, 2011

By Neverkissafrog

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Frog

What could be better than marrying a Prince? Marrying a doctor! And I was on my way. I had met a prince of a doctor!
Todd was a gynecologist. An eminent Beverly Hills gynecologist! With a thriving practice. Women from all over the city would line up in droves to see him. Click here to read more…

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Saturday’s Memoirs: Adventures in Bad Online Dates — I Like Sex BUT?

• by Jennifer on March 26th, 2011

By J.R. Reed aka Sexandthesingledad

I hadn’t been on a date in over 13 years and I was kind of freaked out about it. There was no such thing as Internet dating before I was married, but now that I was single again, it seemed like a cool thing to try. I got a subscription to Match and in a couple of weeks I was on my first date. Click here to read more…

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Friday’s Fashion Dating Do or Don’t? — Plaid Pants and Not on the Golf Course

• by Jennifer on March 25th, 2011

By Alison Agosti

Ah, golf. It’s the sport of gentlemen and ridiculous fashion. They have everything from mismatched prints to goofy pom-poms. Despite the inherent nerdiness of golf fashion, there is something charming and chic about it. There are people that pull it off perfectly, like Tiger Woods or Adam Scott. And in general, if you’re a handsome professional athlete, feel free to wear whatever you want. However, if you are not, this is a style you have to be very careful about. Click here to read more…

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Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Dating a Picky Eater

• by Jennifer on March 24th, 2011

By Daniel Ponsky

See, I’m wired a little different than most people on this planet. I live life simple and try to walk my path with a sense of reserved moderation. I balance myself with a strong belief that too much of anything always ends up being bad for you in the end, if your not made of Adonis D.N.A. That line of thinking has seemed to always serve me pretty correct. When I crossed it, the proof of those words has never ringed truer as they slapped me across the face with a force stronger than Tigerblood. Click here to read more…

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A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… He Sent Me an Angry Text

• by Jennifer on March 23rd, 2011

By Jessica Downey – Not What I Ordered

I am a big fan of texting. Actually, I consider it a gift to the multi-tasker. If you are running late you can send a quick text. If you are in the middle of watching a show and see a funny commercial you can send a text. If you need to tell someone something and are afraid you will forget you can send a text. You get the idea. Click here to read more…

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