I am deeply in lust, and have a rocking sex life (the best that I have ever had) with the new guy that I have been seeing, one MAJOR problem, he does some pretty random and careless stuff, and never learns from his mistakes. I really don’t want to play “mommy” and say anything. Am I just in love with lust — What would you do?
In love with lust?
Dear Lusty Lady,
Come on! Who doesn’t love a bad boy?
Marlon Brando in the Wild One, James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, jeez, even Keanu Reeves in Paula Abdul’s “Rush, Rush” video; there’s something about a surly stud with a hidden heart of gold that makes every woman melt. I blame John Travolta’s Danny Zuko and Patrick Swayze’s Johnny Castle for my particular fetish for leather jacket-rocking, misunderstood outsiders with a love of song and dance, but the thing I think does it for every woman is the double pronged thrill of taming the beast within and being able to turn to your friends and family as they look at you with concern, and say, “You just don’t know him the way I do.”
Fear and frenzy live right on the cusp of passion—why do you think so many people have safe words in bed?—and that’s what makes them so delectable.
Speaking of, of course your sex life is off the charts right now. Crazy people always make the best lovers. I have a dear guy friend who didn’t dump the girl he was dating even after she keyed his car, jumped on the hood and bashed her head against the windshield, shattering it as she started gushing blood, and then punched her fist through his bedroom window. Why? Because she was just as insane in the sack. Needless to say, their love is no longer thriving, but a restraining order is in the works, still, at the time, he made a pretty legitimate case for why he kept seeing her.
Wild thrill-seeking is undeniably sexy but when he starts taking stupid risks that put himself or other people in danger, it’s not nagging to tell him to stop; it’s you being a responsible adult, which is what he should be as well.
Enjoy the ride with your wild man, just make sure you buckle up.
*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.