By Daniel Ponsky
Some say a generation can be defined not by their achievements but by their lack of achievement. Is this true? Does this opinion have merit? Well if you ask me I say that we have to further understand what “achievement” is technically defined as. Some might say that graduating college and becoming a doctor or a lawyer is achievement. Writing the Pulitzer or becoming President or owning your own business or house is probably high up on most people’s lists. Well my list is a little different. Cause my generation is a little different. We mad porn a household name, we made Prince a legend, and we took video games to the ultimate frickin ridiculous level. That’s right, you like that little X-Box that passes hours in life faster then gas?
Chances are if you have been in the dating game in the last ten years or so you’ve probably noticed most of your relationships had to share time with this little black beauty. Some take issue with that. They believe their time and presence is precious and deserves uninterrupted attentiveness. Well hooty hoo I say, nobody can hold the attention of a person like a well crafted, mind-bendingly illustrated video game. They are the reason I can’t shop in Best Buy anymore. I see them on those seventy inch LCD screens looking all sleek and sexy and the next thing I know there is a janitor asking me to move so he can vacuum cause the store has been closed for three hours. True story and it happened on a date. There was no second date.
If you have the online hook up let’s just say these people are too busy for things like J-Date, Facebook, and showering. Not that all game junkies have bad habits and are low and pathetic antisocial subculture elements of society, but let’s be real. If you have dated anyone who has an online Xbox account you can’t tell me that on more then one occasion you have been held up from doing something because someone was about to “bring the pain” or “pass the impossible level” that has already sacrificed a month of their life. I ain’t gonna sugar coat it for you people. The truth is this. If you are dating someone who has an addiction to video gaming…there is no changing them. Not sex, children or the power of the Lotto is going to rip these hard chargers from their gamer chairs. The Lotto would actually make things worse much like children who are over the age of five.
If you are dating someone who has an addiction, here are a few tips that might help if your relationship is starting to strain and suffer. Tip number one is “get involved”. Give in and pick up a controller. Get active and remember this, competition is a son of a bitch. Keep your head down and learn that game. Become good and you will control when it will be played enough and sometimes for how much. You whip their monkey ass in their house and you can get them to yodel in Temple on a High Holy Day. Nothing beats a good hustle, you can come up in life, believe me. Tip number two is don’t forget about tip number one. The truth is that there is nothing short of an Apocalypse that will get people to drop the controller. Three trillion dollars wasn’t made in this industry because people weren’t playing these things. True to dat.