By Shilo Urban
It’s hot. We get it. As the temperatures soar, the amount of clothing worn by the general populace plummets, and this can be good or bad for daters who must walk the perilous line between keeping cool and not looking like trash. Keep your date interested in you for the right reasons by avoiding these summer fashion faux pas:
Crochet dress with the wrong undergarments. See-through crochet dresses are quite popular this summer, but nothing ruins the illusion quicker than a pair of blue underpants or a bright white bra. Ladies, keep the crochet stylish and sophisticated by wearing the correct bottom layer under your dress – usually a skin-colored slip. If you’re wearing a bikini under it, I hope your date is taking you to the beach!
Tube tops – Tube tops and their glammed up sisters – strapless dresses – keep your top half cool but can be hard to pull of for any figure. Women of slight build will find that the straight cut of a strapless top presses down their boobs towards pancake level, while ladies of ample proportions will spill out the top, resulting in unsightly armpit overhang. Ditch the tube tops entirely (please) and if you want to wear a strapless dress on your dinner date, choose a neckline that does not cut straight across for the most flattering fit.
Flip flops – Ladies have a bit more leeway with casual footwear than men do, as female flip flops are often gussied up with jewels, sparkles or bows to make them passable to many occasions. Men, on the other hand, cannot get away with wearing flip flops on a date – there’s just too much hair and toenails and grubbiness down there. If he can’t be bothered to wear actual shoes on your date, he probably won’t be bothered with much else in life – including trying to impress you.
Belly shirts – The 80s have returned and midriff-baring shirts are back with a vengeance, and usually neon colored. A cropped belly shirt is a great option for a date… if you’re 15. However if you are standing on this side of adulthood (with the softer midsection to show for it), you should never wear a belly-baring shirt anywhere, much less on a date. For men, multiple this rule x 1000. The exception: if you have a 6-pack of abs, you can do whatever the hell you want. We all know you spend 8 hours a day in the gym, so you might as well show it off to your date.
Booty shorts – In the summer season, booty shorts are often taken to a new level by young women who wish to strut their stuff and display their thighs to the world. Go ahead. However, if your ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom of your shorts, THEY ARE TOO SHORT. Flashing your vag may be a quick and easy way to get attention ladies, but it is far from being the best. If you can see the crease between your buttock and thigh out the bottom of your shorts, or any part of your butt itself, in many parts of the country, this style signals that you are a streetwalker ready for business – which might not be the look you are going for on a date.
….And drum roll please, last but not least, JUST SAY NO! As seen in the most recent Bad Date TV: Blow-Up Doll Boyfriends, Dogs and Dan the Drunk Guy episode — under no circumstance write “Lady Lover” on a wife beater with a Sharpee.