Contrary to popular belief, I’m actually a pretty nice guy. I’m even nice when I’m mean. That’s why it’s so complicated when a woman refuses to appreciate my sincere efforts at being a jerk. Take for example, the woman who keeps texting after I have made it abundantly clear that I’m not interested.
Before we move on, less I receive some hate mail that I will have to ignore in addition to above-mentioned texts from aforementioned woman, let’s be clear. This is not in reference to the women I’ve led on, which I’ve done, and I take full responsibility. This is not for the women that I randomly disappeared on, which I’ve done, and I take full responsibility for them too. This is in reference to the women I unmistakably tell that I am not interested in and yet, they keep right on texting. I take no responsibility for them.
If you have to text me to ask me where things are going (nowhere), if I’m interested (I’m not) or why don’t I text you first (I don’t want to), then you should already know the answer to these rhetorical questions. Have some respect for yourself. I assure you I will respect you more.
Of course, I don’t know much about women – some might say I don’t know anything – but I do know that if I answer your text it will only incur more texts, not less. I’m simply asking that you respect my right to ignore you as much as I respect your right to keep harassing me.
Since I don’t know much about women, I’ll provide a tip on men. If you have any doubt how interested I am in you, all you have to do is stop acting interested in me. If I’m interested, you will hear from me sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you hear from me never sooner than later, then chances are I’m not that interested. Kapeesh?
There is no need to text me, then wait five minutes before reaching out on another medium to ask if I received your text. I did. Now all you’ve done is force me to ignore you on 200% as many mediums.
Look, if you cross my mind, I’ll text you. If you don’t, I won’t. It’s nothing personal, I’m sure you’re an awesome person. Nevertheless, there is no magical amount of assorted, yet unsolicited semicolons, hyphens, and parenthesis you can send that will suddenly spark my interest.
I’m sorry. 🙁
Maybe it’s selfish to ignore you but what are my other options? If I answer, I know you’ll try to drag me into that abysmal region all men fear, that alleged area where “my feelings” live. Trust me, deep analysis is not necessary here. Our entire relationship was based on texts and you wonder why I have no emotional investment. Why would I? How much could the exchange of 160-character bundles affect me emotionally when I can’t even remember how your voice sounds.
When in doubt, disappear. I’m not sure if that’s a famous quote but it should be. The idea that I owe you more than the clearly communicated fact that I’m not interested is not going to happen, and sadly, your uninvited texts will only strengthen my resolve not to talk to you even more. You can’t force me to talk to you but you can give me the opportunity to miss you, and who knows, maybe I will…
I’ll text you the results.