I’m seeing this guy, we are both in our 30s, and for the first time in a VERY long time I’ve found someone that I really like — but his friends all make me completely crazy. Spending time with him when he’s hanging out with them is like being inside a Frat House full of beer bongs, dirty socks and lots of finger pulling.
To frat or not to frat, that is the question?
Sigma Alpha Over It
Dear Over It,
I don’t know about you, sister, but some of my fondest memories took place in a frat house. That’s right, Phi Delt, I’m talking to you. How you doin’?
Granted, as I’ve grown older, the idea of a shower where you need flip flops or having a table reserved exclusively for Flip Cup has gotten old, but there’s something to be said for a gathering of men, all oozing testosterone, beating their chests, scratching their nuts and crushing beer cans on their heads. In some ways, it can actually be kind of a turn on to spend time in such company if you care to indulge in the pleasure of being the lone source of femininity and grace.
Here’s the thing you have to remember, your guy’s guy friends, whether they’re aging frat boys, uber gamer geeks, die hard hipsters or Infinite Jest-quoting intellectuals, are never going to be the same people you’d be friends with, after all, he’s a man and you aren’t. You don’t need to be besties with all of his compadres, in fact, that would be an uncomfortable overstepping of boundaries on your part, you just need to get along with them and, above all, make sure they like you. When you leave the room, you want all of them to say, “Wow, your girlfriend is awesome,” not, “Damn, I’m so glad she finally left.”
Be nice, be friendly, be laidback. And when you two are alone, bite your tongue! Complaining about a guy’s friends, 9 times out of 10, won’t make the guy ditch his friends; it’ll make him ditch the girl who’s complaining. Let him enjoy his play time, seeing who can burp the loudest or drink the most beer in an Hour of Power, because, in the end, it’ll only make him appreciate his time with you, back in the grown up world, that much more.
*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.