By Shilo Urban
Unbuttoning the back of her dress slowly… peeling away his pair of pants… ripping apart your underwear and losing them altogether… Clothes have the potential to make sex even hotter.
But what if your date is wearing a saggy pair of granny panties? Or a shiny gold man-thong? Can the clothes you choose to wear become a deal-breaker for your date?
A random poll of young men found that once in bed with a young woman, there isn’t much that she could wear in the bedroom (short of an actual penis) that would cause them to call things off. There are, however, some clothes and accessories that are universally unaccepted during sex – or at least blocked out while your date imagines that you’re wearing something more stylish.
Common fashion mistakes that will have your friends saying, “You wore WHAT in bed?!?!?” include the following:
1. Granny panties. Topping the list, these saggy old faded panties with flower décor and loosening elastic need to be thrown in the trash, not paraded around in bed. If your panties come up above your bellybutton and resemble the lingerie in your grandmother’s dresser drawer, do yourself and your future dates a favor, and get rid of your granny panties. Buy some hot new digs that fit and flatter.
2. Socks. We get it; your feet are cold. But shouldn’t you be thinking about something else during sex rather than the temperature of your tootsies? Wearing socks – and nothing else – isn’t a turn-on. Either go all the way and get buck-naked, or strap on some sexy stilettos if you’re a lady to amp up the sexual atmosphere.
3. Lace-up boots. Doc Martins seem sexy until your date has to stop in the middle of the action to unlace them for fifteen minutes. Kick off the lace-up boots before you get into bed together.
4. Gowns and pajamas. Long flannel gowns and two-piece satin pajama sets are perfect for bedtime – if you plan on sleeping. If you plan on getting it on, however, leave these slumber party favorites in the closet.
5. Man-thongs. It’s late, he’s hot, you’re ready and the bedroom is waiting… and then he rips off his pants to reveal a shiny red man-thong that better belongs on a Chippendale – which he is obviously not. No man needs a circus up his ass crack. Ditch the thong and get yourself a respectable pair of boxer-briefs – and some respect. Please.
6. Hats. Some guys never, ever take off their cherished baseball hat or beanie, even in the throes of passion. But your date probably doesn’t want to be thinking about the Saint Louis Cardinals every time she looks up at your face during sex. Lose the little-boy hat and gain intimacy.
7. Spanx. Ladies love the way Spanx undergarments smooth their look – but to guys, Spanx looks like some sort of medieval torture device designed for chastity. Get rid of your body bandage before you jump in the sack.