Is your heart stuck? Unsticking your heart begins by admitting there’s a problem – so you’ve already taken the first, crucial step. But it can be difficult to know what to do next.

Your heart can get stuck in many ways:

• Stuck on a past relationship that you can’t seem to let go of
• Stuck on a current relationship that you know deep down isn’t right for you
• Stuck on the wrong person – someone you want a relationship with that doesn’t reciprocate your feelings
• Stuck on the sidelines of love, watching other people date while you long to be in the game
• Stuck dating the same type of guy over and over again

Consider this option: perhaps you are stuck because you want to be stuck.

This idea might be frightening at first. Why would you want to be stuck? Why would you be doing something that is hurting you in some way?

But actually, accepting responsibility for being stuck is a very powerful approach. If you are the reason that you are stuck, then you have all the power that you need to change your situation.

Ask yourself this very important question, and answer truthfully:

How are you benefitting from being stuck?

What incentives might you have for staying this way? Even though the overwhelming feeling of being stuck is negative, there might be hidden positives:

If your heart is stuck on a past relationship that you can’t let go of, perhaps this dead relationship is protecting you from falling in love again – and getting hurt in the future.

If your heart is stuck on a current relationship that you know is wrong, maybe you are enjoying the stability and comfort that comes from having a partner – even the wrong one – to share your life with.

If your heart is stuck on the wrong person, maybe you’re protecting yourself from meeting the right person and falling in love – and becoming completely vulnerable and upending your life.

If your heart is stuck on the sidelines of love, perhaps it will stay safely on the bench, away from injuries and pain.

If your heart is stuck on the same type of man, maybe this type offers a familiar feeling that you find comforting somehow. Sometimes, negative feelings can feel comforting if they are familiar – like a child’s dirty blanket that they never want to part with.

The truth is: we are responsible for our stuck hearts, and only you can dig deep inside to uncover why you are subconsciously choosing to be stuck. But you have all the power you need to break free. A stuck heart is closed off from pain, but it is also closed off from love – and that is no way to live.

Once you discover how you are benefitting from being stuck, you can face your fears and venture out into the waters of love anew. Your heart didn’t get stuck overnight, and so don’t expect to it get unstuck quickly either. Take baby steps, celebrate every victory big and small, and slowly – you wll loosen the shackles that you’ve placed upon your heart.

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