There are “meh” dates, bad dates, and horrible dates – but the worst date of all is the good bad date.

The good bad date is a very frustrating experience. You can laugh at bad dates and at horrible dates, and “meh” dates at least involve a meal.

But good bad dates just leave you confused, sad, and a little pissed off – and are enough to make a girl want to stay home on the couch with her dogs for a month.

We met online. I was instantly attracted to his profile. He passed my “poor grammar” deal-breaker test, and had many of the qualities I am searching for: he loved dogs, traveled frequently, and lived nearby. And even from the static photos on my smartphone, I could detect a certain energy and zest for life – which for me, is more attractive than all of the above combined.

After a few back-and-forth messages in the digital realm, we decided to meet for (what else?) sushi at a trendy restaurant downtown. It was the first date that I had really been excited about in a while, and therefore I primped. I shaved. I fixed my hair and put on a cute dress. And I headed to the sushi bar.

Whenever a relationship goes from online to IRL, there’s an initial period of adjustment as your idea of someone gives way to their actual, real self. It was brief and easy with this guy, who was not noticeable fatter or older than his online profile pics – as is so often the case.

Over sushi rolls and sashimi we chatted, clicking almost instantly. The conversation rolled naturally and when the bill came, neither one of us were ready to part ways.

“Coffee?” he suggested – of course! We headed a few blocks down for an encore stop, sipping cappuccinos at a small round table and talking all the while.

Once the cups were drained, he proposed we extend the date again – at a nearby ice cream parlor and candy shop. Coffee, candy, AND ice cream? Could this be a man after my own heart?

Hours after the evening began, I drove home with that giddy, “what-if” feeling that only a fantastic first date can provide. He texted me moments after I left: Drive home safe!

Numerous texts followed in the next few days, including pictures of his dog, nephews, and Halloween costume. The repartee was witty, the jokes were silly, and the emoticons were flowing.

And then I never heard from him again.

After three unanswered texts, I stopped the chase. Perhaps he dropped dead, probably of a sugar overdose – but more likely, he just wasn’t that into me.

I had just survived a good bad date. Like eating coffee, ice cream, and candy all together – it felt great while it was happening, but wound up turning my stomach afterwards.

Still, I would never give up sweets – and I will never give up on love. Even if you encounter a few ghosts along the way.

• Categories: Saturday's Memoirs: Adventures in Bad Online Dates
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