Tuesday’s Topic: My Friend’s Despise My Boyfriend
- Posted on: April 12th, 2011 by Jennifer
So you’ve just started dating a new guy or maybe you have been dating him for a little while. You really like him and he likes you and you both have a blast together. At some point you both decide to be exclusive. You also have an awesome group of friends who are amazing. All in all you feel like your life is pretty spectacular.
That is until you discover that your friends totally despise your boyfriend.
Now, this is a pretty rough situation because you think your boyfriend is great and you also think your friends are great. So it’s a little confusing to understand why those two worlds can’t seem to mesh. And it seems most people’s first instinct is to just ignore the problem because they think that it will eventually go away. Generally the mind set is that once your friends get to know your boyfriend a little better they will adore him as much as you do.
Sometimes that works, but not always. So what do you do?
The most important thing here is communication. You need to communicate with your friends and confront this issue head on. Now that doesn’t mean you should attack them because that won’t solve anything. But you really need to have a little pow wow with your friends to find out exactly why they don’t like your boyfriend. That might sound a little scary but the only way to solve the problem is to truly get to the bottom of it. Just keep in mind that you are asking them to be honest. So prepare yourself for what they might say.
Sometimes friends really are just being too needy which is part of the reason that communication is so important here. The problem could have a very simple solution and your friends might even realize they are making something out of nothing.
If it’s really that your friends are jealous then there is not much you can do about that. Honestly, they just have to get over it and if they are true friends then they will in time.
If your friends think that you aren’t spending enough time with them then you need to do something to fix that. Try picking a night where it can be just you and them. No one likes to totally be ditched for a boyfriend. If you truly value your friends then you need to find a way to make sure that they know they are still important to you.
If your boyfriend is being a jerk to your friends then it is up to you to make the peace. Yes, that is a totally uncomfortable situation but that’s just how it goes. If your boyfriend really cares for you then he will want to respect your friends because they are important to you. He doesn’t have to like them or want to be BFFs with them, but he has to respect them.
Ultimately, it’s not up to your friends to decide who you should or shouldn’t date but if they have concerns it’s important to see if they are valid. You can’t always chalk it up to the fact that they are just jealous. Talk about it. Try to figure out a solution and fix it.
And, if your boyfriend really is a big old jerk then you have a really big decision to make. Of course, then you might want to question why you really want to date a jerk anyway.