• Posted on: January 23rd, 2008 by

Life throws us a mixed bag of, well… LIFE.

We never know day-to-day what that mixed bag will be or become, but I think it’s safe to say there will always be a lot of hot and cold moments in that mix.

A few days ago, I flew back to Los Angeles from the bitter cold and snowy mountains of Colorado. As I sat on the Hayden airport runway in single-digit to below-zero temperatures listening to my iPod, I looked out the window of the icy small plane and actually hoped we weren’t going to crash en route due to the bad weather.

Right before the plane was going to take off; it was sprayed with a foamy de-icing liquid, enabling a safe take-off.

As the plane was being de-iced, I had a thought: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a solution included in life’s maintenance program that would keep us from getting hard-hearted during life’s icy situations and circumstances?

This liquid spray “de-icing solution” would be solely for the purpose of keeping us from becoming hardened, cold, or frozen-hearted. The solution would miraculously melt away the hard and icy edges of life in minutes, offering us the ability to keep our hearts open even when we feel like we want to shut down and become the ice queen or king.

I happen to think that along with life and all of life’s circumstances, dating and ironically the search for love can actually make us hard, cold, icy and closed-hearted. It would be during these times in life that de-icing would especially come in handy, the same way it’s used in extreme weather to keep passengers safe on an airplane.

The day before my flight home from the rural Hayden airport I was in Steamboat Springs snowboarding on a fresh powder day in 25-below degree temperatures. Because of the extreme cold, I was pretty much alone on the chair lifts, in the trees, and on the empty runs.

That morning, seeing the weather forecast and realizing that the mountain was going to be brutally harsh, I got completely covered in gear that would shield me from the severe weather. Interestingly, even my cell phone had a difficult time with the cold temps; freezing up and becoming unusable.

Sitting on top of the mountain, buckling into my board with no one around and no technology, I thought of a recent situation with a guy who lives there in town that I once dated. Sadly, I think his heart has become hard and frozen like my phone now was.

For the record, he has actually hurt me more than he will ever know. But while I have no special de-icing spray to use, I personally work hard to keep my heart open and not become hard from life and my list of heartbreaks and betrayals.

Ah, yes a quick de-icing fix would be nice, but not having one has taught me to take a higher road, to turn every lemon into lemonade and not get bogged down with the negative stuff in order to stay warm and not become frozen…

Last night I was watching a TV show and had not yet figured out exactly the best way to end this post when one of the characters on the program said:
“The truth sets us free…”

You know, I actually think the “truth” is kind of like getting de-iced (if there were such a solution for humans). You know what else? If my plane had crashed into the snowy mountains of Colorado, I’m glad that I wouldn’t have gone down with a closed, icy and cold heart.

I have learned to take life’s mixed bag as it comes, to truly forgive and forget, and I still get teary eyed watching a sad movie or will laugh at something that may not be funny to anyone else but me.

Maybe we don’t need de-icing as much as we need to be truthful to one another and ourselves, appreciate the time we sometimes have alone, and accept life as it actually comes – not as we expect it to come.

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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