By Jack Elliot
“One whiskey coke when you get a chance, man.” “Hi, I would like a very dry apple martini. Remember, very dry.” “Just whatever good beer you have on tap works for me.” Hi yes, I’ll take a mojito, with extra mint leaves.”
Orders like these are just some of the things one will hear jumbled into the conversation near the vicinity of pretty much any bar on any given night (not to mention a fair share of gimmicky pick up lines). Which has got me to thinking, how much can you tell about a person from the type of drink they order? Based just off drink preference alone, which type of person do you think you would you avoid? Which type of person would you be interested in? From my casual observations of some casual drinkers over a couple of nights, I’ve developed three categories of how a drink order can define a personality.
The high maintenance drinker. This is the classic case. For women, they can be seen anxiously trying to order such drinks as cosmopolitans, lemon drops, Washington apples, long islands, and the like. For men, it’s usually mojitos and margaritas. What is most striking about this demographic is the similarity between the taste of their drink and their outside appearance. Meaning, this type of person’s drink is usually full of various fruity flavors, in order to mask the taste of the alcohol; not unlike the persons themselves (at least, according to my humble observations), who can typically be found wearing not an insignificant amount of makeup, fancy clothes, perfume, and cologne- in order to mask…well, you get the idea. End result: an outrageous tab.
The perfect mix. Ah, just my type. For women, it is usually a simple, standard vodka mixed drink (or perhaps the occasional whiskey or tequila). For men, its almost religiously a jack and coke, gin and tonic, or something along those lines. With this type of laidback drink, you can actually taste what you’re getting, there are no fruity masks. In my opinion, this type of drink-orderer is out and about for the right reasons, to enjoy their drinks, hang out, get a taste of what’s out there, and have a good time. End result: a night to remember.
The Bomber. Uh oh. I’m sure you know the type. This type of drinker is generally (but not always) masculine and can be found ordering such bad ideas as: Irish Car Bombs, Jager Bombs, Mind Erasers, and Cement Mixers. The thing here is to realize that the person who orders and relishes in any drink whose title involves weapons or strange machinery is probably not going to be the type of person you’d want to engage in conversation (unless it’s to tell them to clean up their curdled mess). End result: a wicked hangover.
My advice in three words, “keep it simple.”