A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… Surrender Dorothy – A Message for Ladies on the Hunt

  • Posted on: October 13th, 2010 by

Surrender Dorothy: A Message for Ladies on the Hunt

By Dani Katz

It really shouldn’t be this hard, you think as you scour yet another suspiciously accomplished, allegedly available guy’s personal profile, wondering if “the One” your every fairy tale promised would really brave a comb-over paired with Mala beads and admit to liking the whiny, pop mediocrity that is Coldplay.

You’re right: it’s not supposed to be anywhere near this hard, and the reason it is so hard is because you’re forcing an issue that simply cannot be forced.

For starters, you are a woman. Sure, you may very well be a forthright and empowered goddess, but, the fact remains, you’re still a woman. As woman, your responsibility in the mating game is to allow, receive and respond. And no, this is not an old-fashioned, put Baby in a corner sort of sexist generalization. This is biological imperative; this is Universal Law.

Gender is a basic law of this third dimensional reality. It’s like gravity, which you may resent, resist and even attempt to fight with underwire and collagen, while the truth of the matter is, you’ll never win because gravity is. It’s the same with gender: there is masculine energy and there is feminine energy – neither is better or more important than the other, they simply are; and, they are different.

While the feminine receives and allows, the masculine is meant to direct its energy towards the object it desires; taking action in single-minded, focused pursuit of thing X – be it buffalo, Himalayan peak or woman. If you get confused, just use your genitals as a handy-dandy reference – the penis points towards what it wants, directs itself inside and, once there, thrusts ever deeper into the soft, wet, warm vessel that receives it, that allows itself to be penetrated in the space it lovingly holds.

Hunting, or in this case – scrolling – is the man’s job. Men freeze when they become the object of woman’s pursuit. They have not the slightest clue how to respond – because they’re not responders by nature – they’re directors. When we beat them to their own biological imperative, the last thing they want to do is engage because we’ve emasculated them. They’ve no idea what to do with their penises when we’re so quick to whip out our (bigger, better, stronger) own, and smack ‘em around with ‘em.

As a woman, your job is to respond to what the Universe puts in your path, and if that’s a whole lot of empty space, then get creative and make the most of it. Log off and learn to love yourself single. If there’s no man in your field to wine and dine you, then surrender to what is – your solitude – and stop whining about what isn’t (Prince Charming). There are no mistakes and everything is perfect, so if you’re alone, that’s exactly where you’re meant to be. Cozy up to it, and make it delightful. Your life is right here, right now – there’s nothing and no one to wait for to start living the hell out of it.


  • kat farovitch

    f-ing brilliant, dani. I needed that well-put reminder. xoxox

  • Ingardia

    I absolutely loved this article – a female co-worker and I were just discussing this today.  The way that you articulated this was really interesting and made a lot of sense – as far as what I know on an instinctive level.

    I have a dating profile up – yet, I’m happy single – but of course I would love to have the right man in my life.  However, the instinctive part of me knows the reason why most of the people that respond to me online are people who don’t have much going on – is because it isn’t the right place for me. 

    I get confused when I hear mixed messages – “if you want love, you need to put yourself out there like you aquire anything else in your life” … so when people ask me “why are you single?” — It almost feels as if I am doing something wrong by simply being, being happy with my life, falling in love with it and what I instinctively know – the universe, when it is time is right will deliver.  

    Then I question that – am I being illogical?  But, life is not logical – there is a huge universe out there…  

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder Badonlinedates.com LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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