By Kari DePhillips
Money can be a touchy subject, especially in a relationship. Of course we all want financial stability – a roof over our heads and food to eat – but when one half of a couple consistently pays for more than the other half, it can put real strain on a relationship.
The most important thing to consider in any relationship is compatibility. If you know you’d be deeply unhappy dating a broke dude, then you should seek somebody with a healthy savings account. On the other hand, if you have money but hate the machinations of ladies trying to get in your (Armani) pants in exchange for a lifestyle upgrade, you probably shouldn’t hit up swank clubs in search of your next long-term relationship.
However, no matter how many things you have in common, money can still kill love. If your partner is always buying you dinner and taking you out on the town without any reciprocation, it might feel like you’re being paid to date. Guilt and a sense that the relationship isn’t totally equal are just two possible results here. Likewise, if you just want to go out and have a good time, but your partner is chronically at a loss for cash, you may resent them for keeping you on the couch when you’d rather be enjoying filet mignon and a class of cabernet.
Of course, there are those who only see the world in terms of price. You can spot these folks by their high-end designer knockoff sunglasses and huge sack with a dollar sign printed on it. Known as gold diggers, these men and women are willing to trade whatever they’ve got for something they’re missing – cold, hard cash. While some gold diggers are obvious (“Honey, can’t we go to Chez Riche for dinner again? I just love their $100-a-plate meals!”), others can be more subtle and insidious. They might get upset that your birthday gift to them isn’t expensive enough, or that you’d rather go camping than head to the Bahamas for the weekend.
Then again, some people don’t mind being the sugar daddy or momma in their relationship – check out marryanuglymillionaire.com for some over-the-top examples. If you’re feeling financially taken advantage of, it’s best to address things sooner rather than later. Give your partner a chance to start paying for things, but if you find yourself continuing to foot the bill, it may be time to break things off.
How do you deal with money in your relationships? How many dates do you go on before you bring up finances? Would you ever refuse to date somebody if they were upfront about their less-than-stellar financial situation? Tell us your thoughts in the comments!