By Kari DePhillips
There is no reason to be down about being single on Thanksgiving. In fact, being unattached at the holidays gives you all kinds of freedom that families and married friends only dream about. A few tips to help you survive a solo night in style:
Prepare your one-liners
If you do decide to celebrate at a family get together, some relative will inevitably ask why you’re not dating anyone. While this question may be tolerable, the follow up, “Why not?” can set your teeth on edge. Try a few variations to show them how inappropriate their question can be, then enjoy watching them squirm while formulating a response:
1. “Oh, I love how openly our family can talk to each other! I haven’t found anyone who can fulfill my needs in the bedroom. How do you two manage to keep things exciting, Uncle Joe?”
2. “Well, do you know any gorgeous, kind, intelligent, funny, employed, straight men/women who aren’t currently in a relationship but wish they were? I’d love to meet them!” **
3. “I don’t really think that humans were designed to be monogamous. I prefer one night stands combined with the emotional intimacy I share with my cat. I’m thinking of starting my own religion that will allow for open, interspecies marriage.”
** Caution, this one leaves you open to being set up by a family member with questionable judgment…
Skip the Shindig
If you do find yourself unable (or unwilling) to travel to a family get together, enjoy the freedom of celebrating this holiday the way you’ve always wanted. Take advantage of all-day football or marathon movies on television and spend the day relaxing on your couch. Trade those wasted hours of cooking for thirty-minutes-or-less pizza or Chinese food delivered straight to your door. Relish the fact that your “Thanksgiving pants” don’t even have to be appropriate enough to leave the house – that’s right, those tattered sweats from college will do just fine.
Hit the Bars
Whether you spend the day alone or with your genetic equivalents, Thanksgiving for singles starts after dinner. This is when your local bars start to fill up with men and women looking to drown their sorrows from a miserable experience around the dinner table or those just venturing out from a day on the couch. Strike up the right conversation and you just might be spending next year’s holiday on the arm of a kindred spirit.