By Alysia Sofios
“Do you love stylish sexy jeans? Do you love soft comfy pajama bottoms?”
Oh, PajamaJeans® infomercial, you think you’re so clever. Trying to lure all of us busy women and our potential social lives into your devious web of DormiSoft™ Fabric and contrast stitching. Inevitably keeping us comfortable, yet single, forever.
Magical wrinkle-free jeans that you can sleep in and wear on your first date with the cute guy from the gym? Seems like a dream come true. But beware, my fashionista friends, because PajamaJeans® are no more than a dangerous gateway drug disguised as a harmless fad.
Case and point? My recent happy hour experience at a trendy Santa Monica sushi joint. The pretty brunette in the cute black top across the room looked innocent enough; however, as she gracefully slid off the football-shaped barstool, the horror that had lied underneath was exposed for the entire restaurant to see: a ratty pair of hot pink, cow-print, flannel pajama bottoms. SJP from the waist up and nothin’-but-Snooki from the waist down. My date leaned over and not-so-discreetly said, “I guess I shouldn’t have worried about being underdressed.” Meanwhile, the guy she was with hung his head and proceeded with his long, cruel walk of shame.
What has happened to us, ladies? We don’t think twice about pouring hot wax on our legs, or placing a scalding flat iron centimeters from our scalp, yet we can’t be bothered to be the least bit uncomfortable in our clothing? Have we not learned anything from the infinite wisdom of Seinfeld? Remember when George showed up for a night out wearing sweatpants?
“You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants?” Jerry so eloquently proclaimed. “You’re telling the world, I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Here’s the deal – if you’re thinking about making the leap to PajamaJeans®, take the $39.95 (+ $7.95 shipping and handling) you’re about to shell out and invest in a Seinfeld box set instead. It may not be made of a “proprietary blend of cotton and spandex,” or come with a free “flattering grey crewneck t-shirt,” but I can promise you that quoting Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer in front of your crush will get you a lot further than sporting your as-seen-on-TV wannabe leggings.
If you’ve already taken the bait and ordered your PajamaJeans®, there’s a 60-day money back guarantee in case you’re not completely satisfied. Here’s one sure thing: wear these on a date and you’re guaranteed to end up in bed that night – alone. On the plus side, at least you won’t have to change first!