I hadn’t been on a date in over 13 years and I was kind of freaked out about it. There was no such thing as Internet dating before I was married, but now that I was single again, it seemed like a cool thing to try. I got a subscription to Match and in a couple of weeks I was on my first date.
I think her name was Patty, but I can’t be sure. I don’t remember her name, but I remember the date as if it was yesterday. We met at a sports bar in Los Angeles on a Monday evening in the fall. I remember that much because she told me she was a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan and she wanted to see them on Monday Night Football.
We met and hugged hello. She was hot and I had no game. This was not a great combination. I wanted this to go well and I was doing my best to hold it together. We sat down, ordered a couple beers and began the typical first date chatter.
She was from a big family in Philly. She was the only girl among a group of brothers, so she knew how to be tough. She was also smokin hot. She was wearing a low cut, tight black shirt with a short, red plaid skirt and black tights. Her red hair and green eyes topped a slim 5’ 2” frame. She was mmm mmm good. Maybe dating wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Then again, maybe it would.
We ordered some wings and sandwiches and continued to talk. She worked for a big company and was recently transferred to LA. She seemed to be having fun and all indications were that she was digging me. We were talking about the game when our sandwiches arrived and I was two or three bites in when she dropped the hammer.
“I really like sex, but I can’t tonight because I’m on my period. I hope that’s OK with you.” Seriously. This chick completely changed the subject from football to tell me that she couldn’t have sex because she was menstruating. Wow!
I tried not to choke on the food in my mouth and I somehow found the ability to say, “Sure. No problem.” I quickly replayed the moment over in my head to make sure that I heard her correctly. “She didn’t really just say that,” I reasoned.
Then I tried to come up with another phrase that sounded like “I really like sex, but I can’t tonight because I’m on my period. I hope that’s OK with you.” But I couldn’t.
To say I was a bit freaked out would be a huge understatement. I was out on my first date in 13 years and I end up sitting across the table from a chick who wanted to nail me on the first date, but couldn’t because she had Aunt Flo in town.
Should I be upset that here I was putting out good money for dinner and drinks and she wasn’t putting out at all or should I be creeped out that this woman I hardly knew thought that I should know right up front about her monthly cycle?
The bottom line is that I somehow finished my dinner and we went our separate ways at halftime. I never did call her back for a second date, but I’m sure that if I would have, I could have had some much needed sex.
From time to time I think back and wonder “what if”. I’m pretty sure if we had gone out again, it would have been a great time, but there likely would have been a big shot of penicillin in my future. I think I made the right choice. I think…