Saturday’s Memoirs: Adventures in Bad Online Dates — What the DTF?

  • Posted on: April 16th, 2011 by

By Jessica Downey – Not What I Ordered

Online dating is a blast. I mean sometimes you open your inbox and find a cleverly constructed and very sweet message. Other times you find the exact opposite. This is one of those times.

A while ago, opened my inbox on OkCupid to find this exact message:

Subject line: dtf

Message: you look like a girl who is dtf

Now for those of you that that don’t know what “dtf” means, don’t feel bad I had no clue either. I actually had to google it to figure it out. Thank god for the good old urban dictionary. That is right folks it means down to fu**. It seems a little funny that I don’t want to drop the f-bomb in my blog yet a guy had no problem saying this to me in a message, don’t you think?

As a little side note here, I should mention that this guy is only 19-years-old so that should clearly explain a lot. It also explains why he used the acronym and just assumed that everyone would know what he is talking about. I find this is the case a lot with guys under 25.

Honestly, I am not really sure where to start with this one. For starters, I am not overly impressed by guys that use text chat in messages to me. I think it’s lame and I would rather carry on an actual conversation rather than a bunch of abbreviations and shortened words. Though I tend to get past that. Except in this case, of course, because clearly I did not respond to this guy.

Next thing. Who really says that to a woman they have never met before? Trust me when I say this, a comment like that doesn’t get you anywhere. Even if all you are looking for is a casual night of nakedness, it still won’t get you that either.

I somewhat entertained the idea that maybe he was just kidding, which clearly he could have been. Though when that’s all there is in the message how is anyone supposed to get that impression? Plus, if you are trying to make me laugh, this probably isn’t the best approach. Just some little advice for next time there, buddy.

Honestly, I am not sure what looking like a girl that’s “DTF” really even means. What’s all involved with having this sort of look? And how might one get this impression from a picture of me on the internet? Is this what is considered a compliment now? I definitely hope not. Clearly this is not what I singed up for with this internet dating thing. So to the “DTF” guy, next time I would try a different approach when you are trying to get a woman’s attention. And I really hope that his suave approach hasn’t actually worked because ladies that’s not cool either.

I will leave you with a side note because it just adds to the humor of this whole thing. Apparently you can purchase a shirt that says “DTF”. Now, unless you are from the Jersey Shore I am not sure who would want such a thing, but you can. When I originally posted this on my blog, the people over at (the makers of the DTF shirt) got word of it and designed a very lovely “Not DTF” shirt in my honor. Pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

You can link to the shirt here

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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