By Daniel Ponsky
There are very few things that can absolutely change a moment in your life the second they happen. A baby’s cry can stir up the most dormant of emotions in us that might range from a gentle concern of “Oh, poor baby, I hope he’s ok?” to “Jesus, somebody shut that frickin kid up!” Other times a glass may fall and break or you may have to slam on the breaks at an oncoming yellow street light because you notice a cop in your rearview mirror last second. All of these things have one thing in common, the reactions we have to them are almost always uncontrolled due to the unexpected nature of the incidents. Yet the most unexpected moment that seems to always stand out in my mind is when someone burps loudly in public.
Most of the time these air-polluting anarchists show no shame. They smile, grin, and take pleasure in their new short scented fragrance, while most of us tend to run for the hills at first whiff. If I can just put this out there, “What is wrong with you people?” What is it with our culture that makes people take such pride and satisfaction in creating such belligerence for the people around them? Is it the TV and film influences over the years that have tainted our class and respect for each other? Or have we become so sick and deranged that a cheap toilet bowl humor laugh is always worth taking as far as it can be taken. The answer appears to just not be that simple.
Not making matters any easier to digest is the fact that this has become a passed down tradition that spawns from generation to generation. Father’s train son’s over the early years of their lives at the dinner table to practically master it like an art form. Hell, high school and college students have raging parties that promote it like a sport. Belching contests in some parts of the country have championship titles and cash money paydays for those who can muster the breath of the dark and musty demon from within. Carnivals, Fairs, even the Circus have a forum for it to stand up on and be recognized. I have to say if you didn’t pick up on it already, I’m personally just not a fan.
As a dude, I find it highly unladylike if I’m on a date and she let’s one rip without at least even trying to play it off as embarrassing. Flexing on me like that can definitely get that plug pulled on the evening early that way. I mean not even a Tic Tac is gonna save your butt in that situation. But that’s just me doing me and at the end of the day, you gotta do you. But if you happen to do that something that happens to be loud, crude and raunchy, do me a favor and just don’t blow it my way.