By: Daniel Ponsky
Very few people have a super developed instinct that allows them to vibe and understand someone without ever having talked to them. I myself sometimes have an uncanny ability that tunes me into the most random people. Sometimes it is in their walk, or expression, or reaction to a situation that tunes me in but whatever “it” is, I always end up being able to tell about 80% of the time who someone is, where their from and where they are going in life. Though I am not completely sure, I do believe that fifteen years of performing stand up comedy to ruckus audiences and having had a great grandmother who was raised by Gypsy’s also helps.
But what if you’re not a seasoned entertainer who has spent years dissecting people and their psyches or have Gypsy blood flowing through their veins? How do you know how to relate to someone that you are looking to relate to? Most people search for common interests. Favorite foods, or movies and music are just a few of the things that we can use to gage our attraction levels. This is indeed a cool trick at times but by no means should be a reason to call someone a soul mate. Heavier relationship “dues” need to be paid before that title can be rocked. Especially if your taste in say, music is different than theirs. Music to me is probably in the top five of things that help me understand who a person is. What we listen to tells the world who we are by showing it what we relate to on a spiritual, mental and physical level. If that doesn’t line up with the music that your significant other listens to don’t worry but know that sometimes it can be a problem if one of you is a control freak.
My parents have been married for forty years and their taste in music couldn’t be more different. My mom likes show tunes and country and my father likes Elvis. They actually both have a lot of common interest in music but to say the least, they never pressure each other to listen to things that the other isn’t in the mood to listen to. Usually my mom picks a station and my dad shut’s up and deals with it. Unless he really hates the song and switches the station quick to which my mom knows he is not playing around. It is a give and take and they make it work. They know that there is nothing wrong with having different tastes and I do believe they have worked hard over the years to appreciate each other’s likes and dislikes.
This is a sign of a healthy relationship. If you are dating someone who is constantly riding you about what you are listening to, get the hell away from him or her. No one person should change a thing about who you are and what you like. Unless you’re a psycho and that isn’t what I am even remotely talking about right now. The point I am trying to make is that you need to be who you are and love what you love. If there is someone in your life who truly appreciates you they will understand that. It is ok to just not be so involved in every detail of someone else’s life. Space in a relationship is good. It is a sign of respect. Opinions should be open and honest but not if they are being directed at changing who you are. Stay strong and rock on, life should move to your beat not somebody else’s.
* For the next few weeks we here at Badonlinedates.com will be talking, writing and posting about the ideas, motives, and thoughts that surround trying to “mold” aka change someone in a relationship. Is it possible, is it a good idea?
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