Pic via mirror.co.uk
Some fashion trends are born of visionaries: artists ahead of their time who introduce an idea that a world (or at least select group of individuals) realizes it hadn’t even been missing until that fateful, and for many, life-changing moment. That allows any art form, be it written word or a more visual style, to evolve. But I think you must consider the source of the inspiration with any new trend to know whether or not it has staying power or will simply be just another fad—here today and gone tomorrow. And when the source is Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was the so-called mastermind behind making vajazzling a “thing,” well, do you really want to take dating or love advice from her?
My answer is no but actually for more reasons than just my general dislike of the C-level (at best!) actress whose conquest claim to fame includes John Mayer and Jamie Kennedy. Yikes.
Vajazzling, in case you have managed to stay a bit more pure than I, is the act (or art?) of waxing one’s public area completely free of air and then applying Swarovski crystals in pretty patterns and shapes so that when all of the clothes have been stripped off, there is still a flashy surprise. Of course there is a male version, too, called pejazzling, but something tells me that is not going to catch on nearly as quickly.
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that intimacy should come naturally and when both are actually feeling it, not just because it’s the third date and modern dating websites says that’s when it “should” happen. So for me, it would seem utterly ridiculous to get one’s genitalia all dolled up just in case tonight’s the night. And if tonight does just happen to be the night, do you really want to make that introduction by looking as unnatural as possible? Waxing is one thing because it promotes good hygiene, but gluing multi-colored, and oftentimes pastel or neon, little stones to yourself in the shape of a rainbow or a butterfly or a heart? That kind of screams emotionally disturbed tween, don’t you think?
There are a few occasions when I could see a form of vajazzling acceptable. One is a simple special occasion when instead of going all out and effectively putting a crystallized patch over your nether regions, you use a few of the more tasteful stones to put your guy (or girl)’s initials down there. Sweet, simple, could even be a bit elegant without all of the permanence of a tattoo. Certainly shows your devotion, even if in the heat of passion you run the risk of losing them to friction.
Another would be if you are looking for a way to mix it up in the bedroom. In a way vajazzling inhabits key elements of role-playing, and if you utilize a little known fact about your guy (or girl) to create an image that is personal to them, then it could be seen as a romantic gesture instead of simply a creepy or alien one. Depending on what that image may be, of course. I don’t care if your boyfriend is the biggest Star Wars fan in the world; attempting to sculpt a Chewbacca head out down there is just plain frightening!