Sasha Speaks: Answering Your Most Private Dating Questions — Talking About Sex?

  • Posted on: August 8th, 2011 by

Dear Sasha,

Is something wrong with me in that I don’t like the guys I’m dating to talk to with their friends about our sex life?
Am I just a prude?

Prude or not?

Dear Prude-

The simple answer to your question is, yes, you are. It’s a cultural and evolutionary necessity that people gossip, talk and share intimate details of their lives with others.

Researchers have showed that gossip is a prerequisite for building civilization and community because it enables us to know things like who to trust, who’s a cheater and who might make a good mate. Think of it this way; he’s just participating in a hardwired evolutionary mandate that helps perpetuate our species. Besides, how weird would it be if he wasn’t telling people about one of the most important facets of his life–you?

If it eases your mind at all, rest assured that men don’t get into anywhere near the same level of exhaustive detail that women share. My friends and I talk about size, shape, taste, smell, duration, positions, pillow talk, body hair, skin texture, kissing style, thrust velocity, post-coital manner, phone conversations, text dialogue, and, most importantly, the guy’s viability over the long-haul. And that’s just over email. When there are cocktails involved, we really get into the minutia.

Luckily, you have another evolutionary trait on your side: men’s lack of need for extraneous communication. Sure, they’ll hit the broad strokes (that’s what she said) but they don’t need to harp on the little things the way we women do. Let him have his fun and share some tidbits with his buddies. Chances are, he’s singing your praises.


*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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