What To Do If You’re In Love With More Than One Man

  • Posted on: July 24th, 2012 by

On Monday nights, I do what just about any woman in America is doing…watch the Bachelorette. Normally, shows like this don’t make me think too hard (understatement of the year?) and it’s just a tad difficult to relate to a woman who gets to have her first dates perfectly executed in Croatia, but last night was a bit different. While watching the preview for next weeks show, where the final rose will be handed out and presumably a proposal will take place, I watched as Emily, the Bachelorette, admitted to being in love with both of the guys left standing. And the thing is, girlfriend looked like she really meant it and it was clear that her heart was being torn in two directions. While it’s debatable that true love can be found on a TV show, that’s a post for a different day. On camera or off, what should you do if you’re in love with more than one man?

Step back. There is a difference between loving someone and being head over heels, crazy passionately in love with them. Before you can clearly determine who the right guy is for you, you need to be able to differentiate between the two. Remove yourself from the heat of the moment and giving yourself a moment to clear your head. Don’t worry, they’ll wait.

Write it down. Yep, I’m talking about a good old pros and cons list. Feelings can cloud our judgement and no, it’s not the most romantic thing ever, but sometimes putting your thoughts down on paper can make it clear where your heart stands.

Look elsewhere. Tough love ahead, babes. If you are torn between two guys, isn’t it entirely possible that since both don’t make you feel 100% certain that they are the ONE…that maybe neither of them are the ONE? True love shouldn’t leave you questioning everything, it should be absolutely certain. If there are qualities from both guys that you really like, wouldn’t it be better kiss them both good bye and find the one guy who has it all?

Chill out! Sometimes, it’s not about falling in love. If it happens, great…but what’s with all the pressure? Do you really need to decide which guy you love? Why not just hang out with both until your answer becomes crystal clear? Let things develop and play out organically. Because no matter how amazing her wardrobe is, or how exotic and incredible her dates were, this is the one advantage you have on the Bachelorette. Your relationships don’t need to fit into a perfectly edited three month television show. You’ve got nothing but time, baby.

Liz is the social media manager for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site. She also maintains their popular We Love Dates blog, and is always looking to connect on Facebook or Twitter!

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder Badonlinedates.com LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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