Tuesday’s Topic: A Broken Heart Gets You a Priority Seat in Japan

A funny sign from a Japan train, where seat priority is given to the heart-broken. Along with the old, the pregnant, with baby and disabled.

priority seat
Source flickr

Respect, Personal Space & Gayle King

By Jennifer Kelton

My close encounter with Gayle King is an in-flight tale.

Four years ago, I wrote a book on dating and mating titled: Don’t Use My Sweater Like a Towel.

Despite the blunt title, the book is ultimately a non-fiction story about: life, love, human nature and, most important, respect. The man who inspired the rather raunchy title died tragically and in an untimely manner just as the book was being about to be published.

Ironically, he died as a result of not respecting himself. His death was beyond sad.

To this very day it’s a life changer for me. Click here to read more…

Tuesday’s Topic: Does a Victoria’s Secret Bag Make You Feel Sexy?

Study: Victoria’s Secret Bags Have Sexy Side Effect

By Paul Kix

(Sept. 23) — Transporting thongs and push-up bras isn’t the only purpose for a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag. Some women turn theirs into a purse. Others store their lunch in them. And now new research hints at a universal rationale for the bags’ second lives as accessories. Women feel sexy simply holding it.

The study, to be published in December, is the work of Deborah Roedder John, a professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management. In one of four experiments, John and a colleague approached 85 women in a mall, asked them to fill out a survey — embedded in which were questions about their self-perception — then gave the women one of two shopping bags to walk around with for an hour. One of the bags was from Victoria’s Secret. The women in that group reported to the researchers that they felt more sensual and glamorous simply for the carrying.

Women walk past a Victoria’s Secret store on Lexington Avenue in New York.

Brands can influence people in other ways as well. The study also notes the curious case of some M.B.A. students asked to take notes for six weeks using a pen embossed with the MIT logo. Those who did reported feeling smarter at the end of the term. “Many people are surprisingly receptive to brands,” John tells AOL News.

Many, but not all, it turns out. The literature in which John bases her own study shows that the world is divided into two kinds of people, who, despite such a grand distinction, are labeled with small and opaque terms.

Specifically, people are either “entity theorists” or “incremental theorists.” Entity theorists believe no action of their own can change who they are. They know their failings and their limitations. Incremental theorists see no limits to what they might accomplish, see no end to how they might improve themselves.

For a long time, these terms have been used in psychology, as a way to explain why, say, some kids succeed in school and others fail. John became aware of the terms as she herself tried to understand her own children’s educational successes and failures. She thought maybe they could apply to marketing.

It turns out that entity theorists — the ones aware of their own limits — are also the ones most susceptible to feeling sexier carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag or smarter holding an MIT pen. And yet that seems antithetical to their worldview, no? After all, if they’re bound by their limitations, why should these people believe anything can influence them? Well, although they’ve given up on what they alone can achieve, they haven’t given up on what an outside agent — say, a multinational corporation selling sexiness — can bring to them.

In other words, entity theorists believe their attitudes can change as long as they’re not the ones doing it. “They need a crutch,” John explains.

John believes that in spite of the taxonomy’s rigidity, most people are probably a mixture of entity and incremental theorists. She envisions a future for advertising that slices itself into ever finer niches to appeal to our disparate mind-sets. For the incrementalists, maybe Victoria’s Secret pushes makeup kits, so that a woman is in charge of how beautiful she becomes. For the entity theorists, well, there are those racy TV ads, which we know have a way of transferring their mojo to a plain paper bag.


Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: The Drunk Girl Response – Is She an Easy Lay?

By Jack Elliot

It’s all well and good to go out, have a few drinks, let loose, and have a great time. But, as you are probably well aware, there is such a thing as one (or two or three or twelve) too many- that point where your happy-go-lucky buzz turns into a hard-to-remember fuzz. We’ve all been “there” (with there most aptly referring to “college”) . But hopefully, by your early to mid-twenties you’ve been able to, for the most part, quench your desire to “pound,” “slake,” and “demolish,” liquor- and are instead able to just enjoy a couple drinks and bask in that happy-go-lucky, conversation flowing, buzz. But every now and then, you’ll still come across someone whose desire to pound, slake, and demolish still seems to remain, shall we say, insatiable. Although the male gender is chalk full of this type, for now let’s just focus on females.

Click here to read more…

Friday’s Dating Do or Don’t? – Should a Woman Pay?

A dating do or a dating don’t?

Is it OK for a woman to pay for a date?

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender – Dating and Tipping

What Your Tipping Style May Say About Your Dating Style

Could the way you tip become a dating deal breaker?

By Jack Elliot

You know the drill. You’re out on the town, dancing shoes on. You laugh, you vent about your workweek, you take a few cute pictures. And perhaps… you meet a certain cute somebody. The conversation (along with the drinks) flows and all signals are go. And eventually, you and new cute somebody go to close your tabs. After you close out, (out of pure curiosity, of course) you slyly glance over cute somebody’s shapely shoulders to find out what kind of tipper they are.

Click here to read more…

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Does Your Cocktail Send Out a Dating and Mating Message?

By Jack Elliot

“One whiskey coke when you get a chance, man.” “Hi, I would like a very dry apple martini. Remember, very dry.” “Just whatever good beer you have on tap works for me.” Hi yes, I’ll take a mojito, with extra mint leaves.”

Orders like these are just some of the things one will hear jumbled into the conversation near the vicinity of pretty much any bar on any given night (not to mention a fair share of gimmicky pick up lines). Which has got me to thinking, how much can you tell about a person from the type of drink they order? Based just off drink preference alone, which type of person do you think you would you avoid? Which type of person would you be interested in? From my casual observations of some casual drinkers over a couple of nights, I’ve developed three categories of how a drink order can define a personality.

The high maintenance drinker. This is the classic case. For women, they can be seen anxiously trying to order such drinks as cosmopolitans, lemon drops, Washington apples, long islands, and the like. For men, it’s usually mojitos and margaritas. What is most striking about this demographic is the similarity between the taste of their drink and their outside appearance. Meaning, this type of person’s drink is usually full of various fruity flavors, in order to mask the taste of the alcohol; not unlike the persons themselves (at least, according to my humble observations), who can typically be found wearing not an insignificant amount of makeup, fancy clothes, perfume, and cologne- in order to mask…well, you get the idea. End result: an outrageous tab.

The perfect mix. Ah, just my type. For women, it is usually a simple, standard vodka mixed drink (or perhaps the occasional whiskey or tequila). For men, its almost religiously a jack and coke, gin and tonic, or something along those lines. With this type of laidback drink, you can actually taste what you’re getting, there are no fruity masks. In my opinion, this type of drink-orderer is out and about for the right reasons, to enjoy their drinks, hang out, get a taste of what’s out there, and have a good time. End result: a night to remember.

The Bomber. Uh oh. I’m sure you know the type. This type of drinker is generally (but not always) masculine and can be found ordering such bad ideas as: Irish Car Bombs, Jager Bombs, Mind Erasers, and Cement Mixers. The thing here is to realize that the person who orders and relishes in any drink whose title involves weapons or strange machinery is probably not going to be the type of person you’d want to engage in conversation (unless it’s to tell them to clean up their curdled mess). End result: a wicked hangover.

My advice in three words, “keep it simple.”

Tuesday’s Topic: The Bachelor Pad Has a Kissing Contest – Has Reality TV Gone to Far?

The Bachelor Pad has a “Kissing Contest.”
Has reality TV gone to far?

I was pretty grossed out as I watched this last night!

Yuck, really Natalie, really?
#2 Natalie – “I’m pretty confident that I can win this contest because I’m not scared to kiss all the boys. I would like make-out with everyone in the house for like twenty bucks.”

What do you think is this pushing the “I may get a giant herpe on my face” a bit far to win $250,00.00?
…And would you?

Bachelor Pad – Kissing Contest (Girls)

Date Song Pick of the Week: David Gray – Be Mine

David Gray – Be Mine

Click here to read more…

Sunday Bad Date Funnies: My New Old Boyfriend

My New Old Boyfriend – Chick Comedy

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder Badonlinedates.com LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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