Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Making Out in Public

By Jack Elliot

PDA. It doesn’t look so bad when you read it- just three simple letters minding their own business, respectfully keeping their appendages to themselves, and not really doing anything to disturb you. But when these letters are taken off the page and are brought into reality, they can get ugly real fast, as I’m sure you can attest.

Unfortunately, witnessing and putting up with large amounts of PDA on an almost day-to-day basis is one of the more negative aspects of a bartending job. Which leads me to the question: why do people, or should I say, “sloppy drunks,” choose to engage in these public displays of affection?

Is it to 1) show off how hot and steamy their relationship is?
Is it to 2) make you writhe with jealousy?
Is it because 3) their unbridled love is so passionate that it cannot wait till later on?
Or is it because 4) they are wasted and aren’t really thinking about the world outside of them?

Where does this desire to distastefully exhibit your love to the world around you stem from?

In response to question 1, if a couple is engaging in PDA to show how hot and steamy their relationship is, they have many, many issues. First off, if there relationship is so hot and steamy, there really shouldn’t have been any reason for them to leave their room to start with. And in addition, if the couple would rather make out and grope each other instead of having conversation and enjoying each other’s company, it probably follows that they don’t have a lot of things to say to each other and are more than likely relying on lust to keep their relationship going. Click here to read more…

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: What Men Really Think of Your Sexy Halloween Costumes

By Jack Elliot

Yes, it’s just about that day. You know, that day full of jack-o-lanterns, haunted houses, trick or treating, and most importantly, costumes- costumes which allow you a chance to change your identity, to play a role, to express yourself. And when it comes to working at a bar on Halloween, one seems to see, shall we say, the more risqué, uninhibited sides of people, most often women, come out through their costumes. Almost making it seem as if entire wardens of slutty nurses, entire armadas of scantily clad pirates (who give an entirely new definition to the word “booty”), entire red light districts of hookers have all decided to take the night off, unite, and go out drinking and man hunting. Click here to read more…

A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… He Doesn’t Call

How it Makes Me Feel When He Doesn’t Call After Sex

By Dani Katz

It was purely carnal; we used each other’s bodies to get off and then discovered the chemistry wasn’t there, we didn’t fit quite right, or we loathed each other after we came. He didn’t call. Whew. I’m relieved to not have to deal with a messy tangle of unrequited emotions, or the awkward ensuing dialogue. In those instances, the process of unraveling my own self-judgments, reevaluating my aqueous boundaries and reigning in my historically troublesome lust takes precedence, and I’m happy to have the space to deal with them on my own. Click here to read more…

A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… Surrender Dorothy – A Message for Ladies on the Hunt

Surrender Dorothy: A Message for Ladies on the Hunt

By Dani Katz

It really shouldn’t be this hard, you think as you scour yet another suspiciously accomplished, allegedly available guy’s personal profile, wondering if “the One” your every fairy tale promised would really brave a comb-over paired with Mala beads and admit to liking the whiny, pop mediocrity that is Coldplay.

Click here to read more…

Tuesday’s Topic: Does a Victoria’s Secret Bag Make You Feel Sexy?

Study: Victoria’s Secret Bags Have Sexy Side Effect

By Paul Kix

(Sept. 23) — Transporting thongs and push-up bras isn’t the only purpose for a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag. Some women turn theirs into a purse. Others store their lunch in them. And now new research hints at a universal rationale for the bags’ second lives as accessories. Women feel sexy simply holding it.

The study, to be published in December, is the work of Deborah Roedder John, a professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management. In one of four experiments, John and a colleague approached 85 women in a mall, asked them to fill out a survey — embedded in which were questions about their self-perception — then gave the women one of two shopping bags to walk around with for an hour. One of the bags was from Victoria’s Secret. The women in that group reported to the researchers that they felt more sensual and glamorous simply for the carrying.

Women walk past a Victoria’s Secret store on Lexington Avenue in New York.

Brands can influence people in other ways as well. The study also notes the curious case of some M.B.A. students asked to take notes for six weeks using a pen embossed with the MIT logo. Those who did reported feeling smarter at the end of the term. “Many people are surprisingly receptive to brands,” John tells AOL News.

Many, but not all, it turns out. The literature in which John bases her own study shows that the world is divided into two kinds of people, who, despite such a grand distinction, are labeled with small and opaque terms.

Specifically, people are either “entity theorists” or “incremental theorists.” Entity theorists believe no action of their own can change who they are. They know their failings and their limitations. Incremental theorists see no limits to what they might accomplish, see no end to how they might improve themselves.

For a long time, these terms have been used in psychology, as a way to explain why, say, some kids succeed in school and others fail. John became aware of the terms as she herself tried to understand her own children’s educational successes and failures. She thought maybe they could apply to marketing.

It turns out that entity theorists — the ones aware of their own limits — are also the ones most susceptible to feeling sexier carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag or smarter holding an MIT pen. And yet that seems antithetical to their worldview, no? After all, if they’re bound by their limitations, why should these people believe anything can influence them? Well, although they’ve given up on what they alone can achieve, they haven’t given up on what an outside agent — say, a multinational corporation selling sexiness — can bring to them.

In other words, entity theorists believe their attitudes can change as long as they’re not the ones doing it. “They need a crutch,” John explains.

John believes that in spite of the taxonomy’s rigidity, most people are probably a mixture of entity and incremental theorists. She envisions a future for advertising that slices itself into ever finer niches to appeal to our disparate mind-sets. For the incrementalists, maybe Victoria’s Secret pushes makeup kits, so that a woman is in charge of how beautiful she becomes. For the entity theorists, well, there are those racy TV ads, which we know have a way of transferring their mojo to a plain paper bag.

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: The Drunk Girl Response – Is She an Easy Lay?

By Jack Elliot

It’s all well and good to go out, have a few drinks, let loose, and have a great time. But, as you are probably well aware, there is such a thing as one (or two or three or twelve) too many- that point where your happy-go-lucky buzz turns into a hard-to-remember fuzz. We’ve all been “there” (with there most aptly referring to “college”) . But hopefully, by your early to mid-twenties you’ve been able to, for the most part, quench your desire to “pound,” “slake,” and “demolish,” liquor- and are instead able to just enjoy a couple drinks and bask in that happy-go-lucky, conversation flowing, buzz. But every now and then, you’ll still come across someone whose desire to pound, slake, and demolish still seems to remain, shall we say, insatiable. Although the male gender is chalk full of this type, for now let’s just focus on females.

Click here to read more…

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender – Cleavage Calling?

Does a skimpy dress attract more men?
By Jack Elliot

“What should I wear?” she thinks hours before the big night out as she desperately rifles through her dresser, her roommates dresser, her closet, even the dryer in search for that elusive, perfect, classically sexy outfit- not too conservative, not too trashy, not too flashy, but just perfect. Not satisfied with any of her creations and combinations or mixes and matches and with time now becoming scarce, she begins to seriously ponder the incredibly skimpy black dress she bought on a whim the other day, the type of dress she usually never wears and would never show her mother, now conspicuously eyeing her down from its hanger. Should see throw it on and run out the door and make it out on time for once… or should she continue her frantic search for the outfit. Of course, she would prefer the classic Audrey-Hepburn-got-nothing- on-me outfit, but given the fact that time is running out and that she was late last weekend, the black dress triumphs.

Click here to read more…

Tuesday’s Topic: Woman Sleeps With 5,000 Men – A Do or a Don’t?

I’ve had sex with 5,000 men in nine years (but never the same man twice),’ boasts beauty therapist, 25

By Daily Mail Reporter

A beauty therapist, 25, has claimed to have slept with 5,000 men in just nine years – or 3,285 days.
Nikki Lee also boasts about having a ‘personal best’ of four men in one night and she claims she has never had sex with the same conquest twice.

In an admission that will shock most people, the blonde Essex girl has told how she has had casual sex in nightclubs, alleyways, parks, cinemas and teen discos since losing her virginity at 16.

‘Obsessed’: Nikki admits to having casual sex in nightclubs and alleyways
Miss Lee, who also works as a model, admits to going on regular sex holidays, where she sleeps with men in clubs, on beaches and on balconies.

She averages having sex with two men every day and has kept the details of each of them in a little red notebook – all with scores.

• One’s a virgin, another has slept with 50 men… can you guess how many lovers these women have had? You may be surprised…

By the time she was 21, Miss Lee claims to have had sex with 2,289 men. Although the admission, made to a weekly real-life magazine, cannot be verified, has been called ’emotionally very dangerous’ by a relationship expert.

‘I put a star beside the lads who were best in bed. By the time I was 18, I had moved out of home and in with friends and there were nearly 800 in my book,’ she said.

‘Plenty of men have notches on bedposts, so why couldn’t I have my own packed little red book?’

‘Personal best’: Nikki, 25, admits to sleeping with four men on the same night
Miss Lee boasts that she is ‘proud’ of the astonishing figure – and claims she is so obsessed about having sex that it’s her ‘drug’.

But even the ‘sex-addict’, who admits that on one holiday to Ibiza she slept with four men on the same night, claims she has some standards.

Miss Lee told Love It! magazine: ‘I just have two rules: no men who belong to someone else and only safe sex. Apart from that, pretty much anything else goes.

‘I have now slept with more than 5,000 blokes.

‘Some of my mates think I need to get help for sex addiction.

‘But if I am a sex addict, I am enjoying it and don’t want to be cured.’

Talking about losing her virginity at 16, Miss Lee said: ‘I’d discovered something I was good at.

‘I started keeping my notebooks within weeks. I was proud of how many men I was sleeping with and I was scared I would lose track.

‘Every lad I recorded was proof I was more sexy than other girls.’

She also told how she uses condoms and is taking the contraceptive pill.

‘My behaviour wasn’t hurting anyone. I visited my local sexual health clinic every couple of weeks to make sure my lifestyle wasn’t harming me,’ she added.

Sex and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr said: ‘It is technically possible, but emotionally very dangerous.

‘Detaching all your feelings and sleeping with strangers could leave you psychologically damaged. I can’t see where the fun ends or begins.’

Read more: Daily Mail

Tuesday’s Topic: The Bachelor Pad Has a Kissing Contest – Has Reality TV Gone to Far?

The Bachelor Pad has a “Kissing Contest.”
Has reality TV gone to far?

I was pretty grossed out as I watched this last night!

Yuck, really Natalie, really?
#2 Natalie – “I’m pretty confident that I can win this contest because I’m not scared to kiss all the boys. I would like make-out with everyone in the house for like twenty bucks.”

What do you think is this pushing the “I may get a giant herpe on my face” a bit far to win $250,00.00?
…And would you?

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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