Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Is This Sexual Liberation?

Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
You give me something I can hold onto
I know you think I’m like the others before
Who saw your name and number on the wall
-Jenny/867-5309 Tommy Tutone

By Jack Elliot

The walls of the underground bar are chalkboard, completely blank- great areas of empty space waiting to be filled with aphorisms, insights, pictures, lists, portraits, messages, games of tic-tac-toe and hangman- blank canvases for any customer who desires to leave his or her mark. As a denizen of this chic new speakeasy-esque bar, I have had a great deal of time to observe the scrawlings, etchings, and musings of the public who stumble in and out on a regular basis. Being located in the heart of Santa Monica, a place often celebrated for its art and culture, wouldn’t one expect nothing but prolific eloquence, beauty, and perhaps even avant-garde cubism to sprout unendingly across the walls, as a testament to the brilliance of the city’s collective mind?

Alas, this does not seem to be the case. Since the walls are cleaned everyday by the bar staff, I have had the chance to witness the limitless potential of the chalkboards’ blank space become riddled with an onslaught of banal commentary (i.e. for free ASS call 867-5309) mammary glands, and most of all, phallic symbols- which only become more obscene and ubiquitous as the late night hours pile on and on. Although there’s the occasional inspirational quote or drawing peppered here and there (Tommy Tutone lyrics aside), by nine o’clock on a Saturday (needless to say, this is after the public has finished making love to their tonic and gin) these quotes are usually wiped out of existence by the myriad giant scrotum superimposed over them. Which then begs the question: Santa Monica, what is on your mind?

Should these scrawlings be considered a celebration of our nation’s sexual liberation? Should we laud and praise (perhaps even worship?) the phallic symbols- as a testament to the shedding of our puritanical values? Or rather, should we sympathize, commiserate, and buy rounds of drinks for these tortured artists, desperately trying to communicate the feelings of their most secret hearts? Or perhaps we should be alarmed, and interpret the caveman like etchings as a sign of the juvenile stagnation and arrested development of our nation’s collective imagination? Or should we just join in the fun and add hairs to the various genitalia, in an attempt to at least add some realism to the work (for artistic credibility, of course).

Regardless of the reasons behind and the interpretations of the artwork, one thing is clear: it is not an insignificant amount of the general drinking age public that still stands in pubescent-like fascination of the birds and the bees. Sigmund Freud, next rounds on you. And could some turn up that Tommy Tutone?

Conversations Spawned – To Use or Not to Use

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

(Insert the sound of crackling old radio here.) You never know what will be spawned from just one simple question. And that’s exactly what evolved from Two Women, Two Cities, One Question. We have decided to do a follow-up, a highlight reel of sorts, from our freshly sharpened pencil and Lois Lane style reporting on dating and mating straight from the street. It is here where we will highlight some of the conversations spawned.

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He Doesn’t Care

By Jennifer Kelton

That’s why he didn’t call.

One week after avoiding two of my favorite local happy hour spots, I’m sitting at one of them, drinking a $4 happy hour draught, surrounded by dark mahogany. It’s the local Irish Pub. I’m on a first-name basis with the bartenders, here. I’m sitting on my bar stool, praying to God that he (Mr. Guy- Who-Didn’t Call) doesn’t walk in.

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Tuesday’s Topic: Do Women Prefer Men Wearing Red?

Women prefer men in red, study shows
By the CNN Wire Staff

CNN) — Men on the prowl for a date may want to add red to their wardrobe.

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Two Women, Two Cities, One Question – To Use or Not to Use?

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

In walks Jennifer Kelton and Jessica Downey two modern day Lois Lane’s who are unabashedly hitting the pavement in their bustling hometowns of Los Angeles and Chicago. Armed with sharpened pencils and crisp white lined note pads, asking a total of 50 unsuspecting strangers of all ages, genders and demographics in random locations — the odd, the unusual and at times taboo questions involving all things dating and mating.

Be on the look out for a new topic and question each month.

This month’s question is:

“So, it’s the first time that you’ve spent the night over at the guy’s or girl’s house that you really like – you don’t have your toothbrush, would you use theirs?

Total – 28 (Plus the guy that didn’t answer which is 29.)
No- 18
Yes – 6
Maybe – 4

Total – 22
No – 15
Yes – 4
Maybe – 3

Los Angeles:

1. Age 27: Guy – Bartender “No, I would just leave. It’s critical to brush my teeth I don’t even let my girlfriend use it, or me hers.” Cute, tall, blonde, blue eyes, pen behind ear. “I like to drink a lot.”

2. Age 62: Guy – Random man at the Mexican bar. Married. “No, I’d go online and find the nearest 7-eleven.” Nice gold chain, nice gold watch, overall nice looking older guy. “I’ll stop at a gas station to brush my teeth if I have to, I brush my teeth a lot!”

3. Age 35: Guy – Random guy at the Mexican bar. “No!” Pretty arm tattoo, jewelry and super white sneakers. “I want a sandwich when I wake up, I’ve earned it come the morning time.”

4. Age 26: Guy – Bartender at Mexican restaurant. “This is the rule, if there was a fluid exchange, then it’s OK, if there was not a fluid exchange, NO WAY!” Nice blue eyes, handsome, hometown Chicago, actor good looks. “Funny, intelligent, self-aware, I know that I’m not the smartest guy in the room.”

5. Age 22: (Turning 23 on Aug. 10th) Girl – Random girl sitting on a stool on Main Street. “YES! Definitely I don’t have any problems with germs.” Indian bead earrings nose piercing. “Create you’re own story.”

6. Age 29: Guy – “NO!” Laughs, and say’s “NO” again… “I’d use hot water and swish it around if I had to.” Salesman at eyeglass store. Well dressed. “Complex, happy, content solemn (That’s my mood at the moment.) Quite…”

7. Age 35: Girl – Saleswoman at jewelry store also a designer “NO! I’d use my finger as a finger brush.” Wearing silver jewelry.” If I was dating I’d be considered a prude.”

8. Age 34: Girl – Saleswoman at jewelry store. “NO! Even my husband’s I would not use!” “I don’t know what to tell you about myself.”

9. Age 35: Guy – Parking attendant. “It would depend on how long I’ve know the girl. Men don’t care about that.” Scruffy in uniform.

10. Age 38: Guy – “Yea…” Clerk at mailbox store. Goatee, and long ponytail. “Um… Sunday’s and Wednesday’s at Saint’s & Sinners. (Where he’s a DJ.)

11. Age 22: Girl – Clerk at mailbox store, in uniform… Thinking…. “If it’s the boyfriend I’m with right now, yes, if it’s just a random guy No.” “It’s hard to do that.”

12. Age 19: Girl – Checker at Whole Foods. – Laughing “NO!” Blue flannel shirt

13. Age 44: Girl – Waitress at a Café. “NO! I’d look for another source” Cross necklace. “Life is good.”

14. Age 41: Guy – Random guy at restaurant “Yes, I would totally ask the woman I’m with.” White tee shirt, long hair. “Life is beautiful.”

15. Age 44: Girl – Random woman at restaurant. “No, but you can use my second one.” Wearing a tee shirt that said. “Woman who behave rarely make history.”

16. Age 77: Girl – Random woman at the bar, aging gracefully. “I don’t think so, it would depend on what it looked like.”. “I’m very happy with my family.”

17. Age 71: Guy – Random man at the bar. “I don’t use a toothbrush, I only use mouthwash. I have great enamel.” Wearing a black eye patch. “I have many lovers, I won’t tell you how many though.”

18. Age 21: Guy – Picking up take-out from an Irish pub. “NO” – smiles.. and laughs “It’s happened.” Laughs again. Blue tee shirt. “I like beer.”

19. Age 23: Guy – Works at the bar, aspiring writer who wants to learn more languages. “I guess it depends on how long we have been hanging out, but yes, definitely, definitely!” Nice rope bracelets. I asked about them “they have sentimental value.” “Madly in love with my girlfriend.… We met while volunteer teaching.”

20. Age 53: Guy – DJ at the bar. “Absolutely YES!” Wearing Rolling Stone Tee shirt.” We are one.”

21. Age 38: Guy – Parking attendant at hotel. “Probably not.” Nice suit and tie.” Outgoing, pleasant, stickler for facts.”

22. Age 38: Guy – Bartender at trendy bar. “Um… No of course not!” In black uniform. “I’m horny, more than most.”

23. Age 36: Girl – Bartender, in sexy black tank and stone turquoise necklace. “If he said OK, yea I probably would, but most likely I would just use my finger.” I don’t have anything to say about myself.”

24. Age 42: Guy – Drinking an Amstel Light at the bar. “NO!” Wearing a blue shirt and jeans. “I’m a happy person.”

25. Age 42: Guy – Drinking a cocktail a the bar. “NO! I do have all my fingers right – I’d finger brush.” Blue shirt and Jeans. “I like this burger.”


1. Age 22: Girl – Bar “No, not on the first night.” Blonde hair, wearing a white tanktop and jean shorts. “I am a college student.”

2. Age 24: Girl – Bar “No, I don’t think I would on the first night. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I am weird for using their toothbrush.” Brown hair, black dress with a v-neck, glasses.

3. Age 35: Guy – Bar “No, I think it’s disgusting. I would probably use to finger and toothpaste but I am not that worried about it.” Short dark hair wearing a red shirt with tan shorts. “I am single, never married.”

4. Age 27: Girl – Park “No way, that is disgusting.” Wearing purple flowered dress, short. “I am engaged and have never used his toothbrush.”

5. Age 45: Guy – Drugstore “No, I don’t even want to think about what is on the toothbrush. I wouldn’t like it if she used mine.” Blonde hair, wearing white shirt with stripes and black dress pants. “I was married once but now I am single. The divorce had nothing to do with a toothbrush.”

6. Age 21: Guy – Bar “No, not on the first night, I would use my finger and toothpaste. Actually I think it would be a dealbreaker if she used mine.” Blonde hair, wearing a red jacket with shirt underneath and shorts. “I am a college student.”

7. Age 24: Girl – Bar “Yes, I would have no problem with it. Think about all the other gross stuff you put in your mouth. Is a toothbrush that bad?” Dark brown hair straight with bangs, black shirt with writing – punk rocker feel.

8. Age 57: Girl – Supermarket “No, not on the first night but once we knew each other better so I knew where his toothbrush had been.” Brown hair, black suit with heels. “I am a lawyer, married and when I was single I always liked it when a guy bought extra toothbrushes for me.”

9. Age 38: Guy – Supermarket “Sure, why not I don’t think it’s a big deal and if she freaked out about it I am not sure I would want to date her.” Wearing blue shirt, jeans. “I work in advertising and I am single.”

10. Age 28: Guy – Bar “No definitely not. If I had bad breath I would just squirt the toothpaste in my mouth.” Blonde hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans.

11. Age 32: Girl – Park (near the lake) “No, not on the first night I would use my finger and toothpaste unless they had an extra one.” Blonde hair, wearing a white tanktop and jean shorts. “I am a lawyer and I just moved in with my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s used my toothbrush.”

12. Age 35: Guy – near the lakefront “No, I would feel really weird about it and I am not sure how I would explain that to them.” Dark hair, wearing a white tanktop and plaid shorts. “I am single, working on my MBA.”

13. Age 46: Girl – Park “Yes, if I really liked them. That’s the kind of person I am and I assume they would already know.” Dark hair with lighter highlights, blue striped sundress. “I just moved here from Michigan, I am an accountant.”

14. Age 29: Guy – Farmer’s Market “Yes, I assume I would really like them since I am staying over there and if we are sleeping together a toothbrush is no big deal.” Bald, blue vintage shirt with Pepsi logo.

15. Age 37: Guy – Farmer’s Market “No, I would share drinks and food with them but a toothbrush no way.” Bald, wearing blue shirt and plaid shorts.

16. Age 30: Girl – Lakefront running path “No way, that is disgusting.” Dark hair with some red highlights, wearing a white tanktop and leggings.

17. Age 53: Guy – Drugstore “Maybe, it depends on how close we were and what stage in the relationship we were. Definitely not on a one night stand.” Salt and pepper hair white shirt black pants. “I do business development and marketing, I am single and have never been married.”

18. Age 20: Girl – Furniture Store “No, I think hygienic products are off limits for sharing.” Short Blonde hair, brown sun dress. “I do PR, I am engaged.”

19. Age 47: Guy – Restaurant (waiting for takeout) “Probably not, but I think it depends on where we were at in the relationship.” Wearing a black suite with white shirt and no tie. “I am married, no kids and I have a really boring office job that involves a lot of paper work.”

20. Age 22: Girl – Restaurant (waiting for takeout) “Sure, I use my boyfriends all the time. I can’t remember if I did it on the first night but I don’t think it’s gross.” Long Blonde hair, wearing a white dress.

21. Age 39: Guy – Park “No, but maybe once we were further along in the relationship.” Shirt with red cut off sleeves, black shorts.

22. Age 39: Guy – Drugstore “No, I would just wait until I went home in the morning.” Blonde hair, white t-shirt pajama pants with palm trees on them. “I don’t normally shop in pajama pants”

23. Age 49: Girl – Drugstore “No, I would wait until I went home the next morning or maybe bring my own.” Blonde hair, grey t-shirt dress

24. Age 44: Girl – Drugstore “No, I would just use mouthwash or squirt it in my mouth.” Blonde hair, Blue sundress.

25. Age 19: Girl – Park “No and I think I would be super freaked out if a guy used my toothbrush. Maybe I should start keeping them handy.” Blonde hair, white shirt with jean shorts. “I am a college student and I’m single.”

(Insert old crackling radio sound here.) This is Two Women, Two Cities and One Question signing off till the next time where we hit the reporters beat. And we also need to go sharpen our pencils. Over and out and thanks for reading.

*We would love your comments and thoughts on this topic. What would you do?

Sunday Bad Date Funnies: Dating Rule Book

Dating Rule Book – Chick Comedy

The Date Mate – The Dating and Sex Tracker

The Date Mate brings being organized and dating to a whole new level….

I’m just not sure what to think of this–what do you think?

An iPhone App To Schedule and Graph Sex With All Your Girlfriends

DateMate helps you plan, track and report on your relationships.

Your Dating Life – Reorganized and Understood

DateMate helps you plan, track and report on your relationships.

Dating is never easy. It’s complicated and often confusing.

Is the quality of your dates improving over time? Are you having sex less frequently then before? With who are you most compatible? Easily answer these questions and more. Introducing DateMate: a smart, easy and organized way to take control of your dating life.

DateMate is a powerful dating calendar, address book, scorecard and report generator that will make dating a whole lot easier and fun.
Better Plan Your Future by Understanding Your Past

DateMate makes it easy to capture all of your dates and sexual activity. View all of your past and future activities as a list or in a calendar. After a date, simply tap on its entry to rate its success. You can also add more details by adding notes and tags to each date. From your ratings, DateMate will chart your dating trends. Take advantage of these trends to ensure your next move is a successful one.

• View your trends from progress charts for dates and sex
• Select chart timeframes of 1-month, 3-months, 6-months, 1-year, 2-year or all
• Plan future dates and view past activity via a fully functional calendar with color coded entries
• Manage a detailed profile for each contact
• Add photos and notes to every profile
• Plan new dates by E-mailing, texting or calling your dates right from the app
• Share your charts via an integrated e-mail function
• Search entire list of events and people when you’re looking for something specific
Feel secure with our “fail-safe” login feature

Keep track, keep score and take control your dating life.
Multi-lover management in absolute secrecy

We are proud to call DateMate a Shiny MEDL Object.
Date Mate

Sunday Bad Date Funnies: Betty White Talks About Her ‘Muffin’ on SNL

Betty White – Saturday Night Live (2010 NPR Skit)

Date Song Pick of the Week: Led Zeppelin – Whole Lotta Love

Led Zeppelin – Whole Lotta Love

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Technology Does Not Erase the Human Heart


By Jessica Downey

Technology has become a convenient way to do many things. You can quickly text a friend to let them know you are running late if you are on a crowded noisy bus. If you forgot to send an email before you left the house to go out of town you can do it while you are waiting at the airport. Social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook are equally awesome. Where else can you get news, talk to people from across the globe, and get in touch with people you haven’t seen in years?

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About Jennifer

Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer Kelton CEO / founder LLC is a Los Angeles native and a pioneer in the worldwide dating industry, investigating the game of love while providing encouragement and support since 2007, starting with the acclaimed dating book Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel. An accomplished CEO, visionary and entrepreneur, Kelton’s work in the […]

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